


To The Starcruiser

by immortalpramheda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion, Canon Universe, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Sad with a Happy Ending, The Force, Titanic AU, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21601738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalpramheda/pseuds/immortalpramheda
Summary: When the brand new LO-19 Starcruiser stops by Jakku, Rey thinks it must be fate. It's her chance to finally leave this planet. Once on board she meets first class passenger, Ben Solo, who is travelling to his uncle's academy. A whirlwind adventure ensues and both of their lives change for the better.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 24
Kudos: 15





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A Reylo Titanic AU where Rey is the Jack character (lower class orphan who has nothing) and Ben is the Rose character (first class passenger from a wealthy family). Set in the canon universe where they travel on a space cruise ship.

Maybe it was a dream. Her hair stringing with sweat as she dragged him through the hangar bay, her cheeks flushed as she focussed her gaze on the stars, the way her eyes widened in wonder at all these new experiences. The thrilling whirlwind of falling in love that was worth every second.

Maybe it was a nightmare. Something so pure, so right, so meaningful, ripped away with the cruelest stroke. Sometimes overwhelming thoughts come, wishing to not have experienced it at all because having known it and then having to live without it was something that only caused pain.

Or maybe it all happened as it was supposed to. As the force willed it. Maybe this was all a set out plan and her purpose was fulfilled. They were connected for a reason. Perhaps to show that the darkness doesn’t have to be the answer. Life can be worth living even when all seems hopeless. There is still light that can be found.

The memories are still there. The feelings hit like a Star Destroyer travelling through hyperspace. Her mere prescience was that spark that changed everything for the better. There is much sadness that surrounded her tragic fate but it doesn’t retract from all the good.

When it was time, it would be time. Starting with tingling in the toes working it’s way up to the surface. It was beginning, and all would feel right once again.


	2. Rey

The charcoal glided across the page in smooth strokes. Rey had her goggles half on to block the sunlight that was almost blinding her. She glanced ahead at the subject of her artwork - it had parked on the very far side of the planet. From the top of the abandoned AT-AT that had become her home, it was the perfect view.

She squinted, gathering the last bit of detail she needed to complete the sketch, and did the final strokes. She blew on the page, getting rid of the rogue bits of charcoal. She held her sketchbook up in front of the sun and smiled to herself. Not only was it another quality drawing to fill her sketchbook with, but what it represented was something more.

She shut the book and wedged it under her arm before sliding down the side of the old walker. BB-8 came rolling along and nudged into her foot, a few beeps coming out of him.

She opened her sketchbook to the sketch she’d just completed and showed it to the droid. “What do you think?”

He gave her a thumbs up and rolled around to look at the big transportation cruiser in the distance.

The LO-19 Starcruiser. First of it’s kind, a monumental feat in aeronautical engineering in the galaxy. A luxury cruiser that can fit over _two thousand_ people on board. It was marketed as inclusive for anyone from anywhere. It had stops all over the system, and one of them happened to be here.

When she first heard about it she gathered every scrap of information she could, by picking up discarded brochures and newspapers with news of the new cruiser. She became knowledgable to almost an obsessive degree about everything regarding it. And when she discovered that Jakku would be one of the stops on it’s journey, she saw it as a sign. Maybe this was where she was meant to go. Maybe it was why she’d stayed on this planet all these years despite really having no reason to. Something was pulling her towards this cruiser. Something stronger than she’d felt a pull towards anything before.

Her parents had left her here but she never gave up hope that one day they’d come back. So she waited, and waited, and kept count of the days they’d been gone. Of the days she’d been alone. It had been over twelve years now, but they’d never returned. She never felt that she could leave, riddled with anxiety of the thought that if she did go, they’d return and she’d miss them. But it had been long enough. It was clear they weren’t returning, if they ever were they would have a _long_ time ago. It was time for her to go out into the galaxy and live her own life like she’d always dreamed. And the LO-19 Starcruiser felt like fate.

“This is it.” She lifted her head and took in the mass of the Starcruiser. “Do you think we have enough?”

She kicked open a sack of spare parts she’d scavenged. Working parts from abandoned ships she’d deconstructed, and other pieces of precious junk that others would find use for. It was how she’d survived by herself for this long. This time, instead of trading her loot weekly for food, she’d strictly rationed her food and saved up a few weeks worth of junk to trade for something bigger. She was hoping it was enough for a ticket on the cruiser.

She hauled her collections of junk up and attached them to her speeder, making sure they were securely fastened. She wouldn’t want to risk losing anything. The cruiser was set to take off at dawn, this was her one and only chance.

BB-8 hopped up and settled in front of her. She put her goggles down and set off, sand flying in her face. She spat some out of her mouth. She couldn’t wait to be somewhere without a single grain of sand to be seen.

They arrived at the trading post and were met with a long line. Rey and BB-8 held onto their loot tightly, carefully watching for anyone who looked as though they might try to rob them of their goods. She had her staff over her shoulder and was confident that if anyone tried anything, she could knock them down without a seconds hesitation.

She glanced back at the Starcruiser. It was there, _right_ there, but yet so far away. She was too distracted by daydreaming of the possibility of actually getting on there to realise they were at the front of the line. Unkar Plutt’s face stared back at her looking very grumpy, as usual.

She hauled the sacks of junk onto the counter and waited patiently while he rummaged through them, making unintelligible grunting sounds that made it impossible to tell what he thought of them. Finally, he looked up at her.

“Seven portions,” he said.

Rey shook her head. “I don't want portions. I want a ticket for the Starcruiser.”

He looked unimpressed and sighed. Then his eyes landed on BB-8.

“The droid _isn’t_ for sale,” she said, pushing him behind her leg protectively. It wasn’t enough. Her scavenged items weren’t enough and she felt defeated. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be.

She glanced around and her eyes landed on her speeder. If she was leaving, she wouldn’t need it anymore.

“You can have my speeder,” she said, with sadness in her voice. She’d built that speeder with her own bare hands and it was very dear to her. But it was time to let it go.

Unkar Plutt turned around and rummaged through some papers and came back with one single ticket. He handed it to Rey and her mouth opened wide.

The ticket, with the words _‘LO-19 Starcruiser’_ clearly printed on them. She got it! She got a ticket to get off of this _godforsaken_ planet. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face, but then she glanced down at BB-8. He was happy for her, but she couldn’t leave him behind.

She took her staff off her shoulders and hesitated. Her staff and speeder were two of the reasons she’d managed to survive for this long and she was hesitant to lose them both. But it was time to move on. It was time for a new chapter to begin.

She placed the staff onto the counter and held out her palm. “A ticket for the droid too.”

Unkar Plutt examined the staff with a grunt, and then handed her another ticket. Rey smiled at him. He hated the old bastard and knew he only cared about profit, but she was going to miss him. Without him she would have starved to death.

Rey ran as fast as she could through the sand towards the Starcruiser, with BB-8 closely on her heels. She was leaving it all behind. All she had with her were the clothes on her back and her satchel with her scarce possessions, including her sketchbook. And of course her droid. But everything else was staying here while she was leaving.

The sun was beginning to set and it was hard to run through the dusty sand. The closer they got, the harder her heart started to beat. It was happening. This was _actually_ happening.

They made it just as the doors were beginning to close. Rey handed the two tickets to the people in uniform and they let them through. Rey ran and crossed through the slowly closing doors. BB-8 managed to just squeeze through before they shut completely.

Rey knelt down, her breathing heavy, and gave her droid a hug just as the engine began to rumble. “We made it.” Somehow she couldn’t believe it herself.

She stood up and held firmly onto the railing of the unfamiliar ship. She watched through the glass window as her home planet shrunk below her. She felt something weighing her down, trying to pull her back home to the place she had been trapped her entire life. But an even stronger force held her upright.

There was an unfamiliar feeling pulsing through her. One she’d never experienced to this degree before. She finally felt free.


	3. Ben

Ben watched from the sofa as his father unpacked their belongings. He had his hands behind his head and was feeling quite relaxed.

“Are you going to help?” his father asked with an unimpressed look on his face.

He closed his eyes and sighed, straightening his body up into a sitting position. He looked to his father with an amused smirk on his face as the clothes from his bag began floating in the air.

His father grabbed the pieces of clothing and his eyes flared at his son.

Ben cocked his eyebrows. "You wanted help, well there you go.”

“Not like that. Like a _normal_ person.” He’d always despised that his son was different. He didn’t like him using the force. He never had, in fact it kind of scared him. It was one of the reasons they were shipping him off.

“Han,” his mother’s voice came from the doorway. She looked around at the scene and her eyes softened at her son. “Ben, we told you not to do this here.”

His mothers tone got through to him. It was soothing, loving, it could always calm him down. The clothes dropped to the floor and he put his face in his hands. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

His mother put a comforting hand on his back and he looked to her, his face now red. “I know this is scary. I know.”

Ben could feel the tears coming on but he tried to push them away. He felt another hand on his shoulder - his fathers - and his body stiffened.

“We love you, son,” he said. “You just need some help and we don’t know how to help you. Luke does.”

He stood up, releasing himself from his parents grips. His hands balled up into fists. “I can figure it out on my own. I _can_.”

“Son.” His father crossed his arms. “You’ve proven you can’t. You need a little help, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He could feel his anger bubbling up like he did when he got upset. When it got too strong, he broke things. He didn’t mean to, it just happened. He could feel it getting to that level again, until his mother took his trembling hands in hers.

“Why don’t you go and take a walk around the cruiser?” she said, brushing a few loose strange of hair out of his eyes. His body calmed at her touch. “We’ll finish unpacking.”

That was a good idea. Better than being stuck in this room with them. He turned around to leave but his father’s voice stopped him.

“Wait.” He turned to see him standing there with his hand outstretched. “The crystal.”

Ben instinctively touched the pocket of his jacket and felt the smooth outline of it. The kyber crystal his mother had given him, which he was supposed to forge his own lightsaber with when he trained to become a Jedi. He pulled it out and looked at it.

“You know how valuable it is, son. We can’t risk you losing it.”

He took a step towards him but then stopped. Instead, he floated the crystal over to his father who once again looked disappointed by his actions. Nothing out of the ordinary. He let it drop into his outstretched hand. With a huff, Ben watched as his father opened the safe. He could feel the movements he made on the dial and made note of the combination. He placed the crystal right in the middle and then closed the door with a thump.

Ben turned on his heals and headed out of their quarters. He walked along the upper deck, keeping his head down. But he still got noticed - his parents were well known among the first class passengers. The pilot, Han Solo, and General Leia Organa.

His parents were the bane of his existence. He wished for nothing more than to be a nobody. There was pressure on him and expectations to live up to their legacy. It just made things worse. He wasn’t like them, yet everyone expected him to be.

He stopped at the railing and looked up at the view out of the window. Then he tilted his head down and looked around at the lower deck. How he wished he was one of them. All different individuals, many different species and droids. All of them free to choose their own path, unlike him whose path was already predetermined.

His eyes settled on a girl lounging on a bench. A unfamiliar feeling bubbled up inside him. This girl, she was unlike anyone he’d come across before. She was wearing rags covered in dust and her hair was in three hastily tied buns. She had a sketchbook open, leaning precariously on her legs as she carefully sketched her surroundings.

He kept staring at her, for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Simply watching her in her element set his heart on fire. Then she turned and locked eyes with him. He felt embarrassed that he’d been caught and looked away nervously, fiddling with the buttons on his jacket.

After a moment, he glanced back at her and she was still looking up at him. He found himself blushing. A droid rolled up next to her, a little BB unit. The girl had a big smile on her face as she acknowledged the droid. Before she had a chance to look back at him, he’d rushed away.

His hands were shaking and full of sweat. He shook them to try to stop himself for reacting in a way that was out of his control. He was feeling a strange feeling that he couldn’t make sense of. When he made it back to his quarters, he was feeling a little better. His parents had unpacked all their belongings, it was probably best that he gave them space to do that without him getting in the way.

His mother pulled him into a hug. “Feeling better?”

He leant down and wrapped his arms around her. “Yes. I’m sorry I always ruin everything.”

She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. “It’ll all be okay.”

He smiled at his mother, and then dropped it when he saw his father watching them. He had a complicated relationship with him. He loved his father, and had even once dreamt of being a pilot like him. But his father couldn’t understand what he was going through, not in the way his mother did.

“We’re having dinner with Senator Kelsey tonight,” his mother said, taking his hand.

Ben groaned. “Do I _have_ to come?” Another meeting with his parents important and wealthy acquaintances didn’t sound fun.

“Yes, son.” His father took him by the shoulders. “Go get changed, I’ll help you with the tie.”

*****

The dinner was once again one of those awkward meals where his parents talked about their achievements and political agency, and he sat there silently without anything to say. He felt out of place. He didn’t feel as thought he belonged in this world.

As they walked back to their quarters, his father tried to make smalltalk with him, attempting to bond and make this journey seem like fun. Which is definitely wasn’t.

“That wasn’t so bad was it?”

Ben shrugged and put his hands in his pockets as they walked. “I guess not.”

When they got back to their quarters, Ben was feeling fine. Not upset, not angry, not really anything. Until his father decided to bring up something that triggered him.

“We’ve only got a few more days until we arrive.” He sat down on the sofa and looked up. “Not long now.”

Ben clenched his fists together. He could feel this darkness trying to pull him under, this presence that had been lingering deep down inside for as long as he could remember. Trying to pull him down. Trying to drown him.

“I don’t want to go,” Ben mumbled, clenching his fists over and over, trying to bring some kind of feeling back to them.

“We know how you feel about everything,” his mother said softly. “But this is what’s best. Luke will help you.”

The anger was beginning to rise to the surface. “I don’t want to live with Luke. I don’t want to become a Jedi. I—” _I don’t want to be even more alone than I already am_ , is what he wanted to say but couldn’t bring himself to speak the words. He scrunched his eyes closed as his body began to tremble. “I want to go home.”

“Son,” his father said. “Once you’ve got this… _thing_ under control you can come home.”

He could feel tears trickling down his cheeks. “The Jedi… you know their strict rules. Relationships are forbidden, attachments are forbidden. I don’t want—” _I just don’t want to be alone anymore._

“We talked to Luke about that,” his mother said. “Once you’ve gotten everything under control you can come home and don’t have to abide by those rules.”

“We just want you to get better,” his father said. He meant it genuinely, but it didn’t come out that way.

“Better?” Ben said bitterly. As though there was something _wrong_ with him. His body began to tremble.

His mother put a comforting hand on his back. “He didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yes I did,” his father said. “You’re not well.”

That did it. The anger began seeping out of him, making the whole room shake. The sofa shuffled along and the dresser’s contents were looking very precarious.

“This is ridiculous!!” his father yelled. “We should have done this a _long_ time ago. You’re a grown man, stop acting like a spoilt _child_!”

Ben let out a scream. The dresser fell over, shattering the glass of the photo frames. The sofa scraped along, leaving scratches all over the floor and tearing the rug apart. It only went on for a few seconds but that was enough to do a lot of damage.

He stood back, breathing heavily as he looked on at the destruction. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like this, it had been a regular occurrence ever since he was a child. His father angering him, his mother cowering worriedly in the corner. Afraid of him. Of her own son. He was a failure in every sense of the word. He was a problem. He always had been.

Ben ran out of the quarters and across the upper deck. He had no idea where he was going or what he was going to do. But they couldn’t handle him. No one could. They didn’t want him. They’d _never_ wanted him. He was a mistake. All he’d done was ruin things time and time again.

He should have let the darkness consume him a long time ago. He should have disappeared a long time ago.


	4. Rey

The stars were unlike anything Rey had seen before. On Jakku, the dust always blocked the view and the sky always looked cloudy. She’d tried to study the stars placement but she could never make them out. Being up here was incredible. She was in complete awe of the way they shone.

The lights had been switched off to signify nighttime, only a few dim lights were on. She wanted to appreciate the night sky alone from the upper deck. As she was a lower class passenger, she wasn’t supposed to venture up here. That was why she’d waited until nightfall to do so.

She adjusted her position and lay her open sketchbook on her chest and took in a deep breath. She should have left her home planet years ago but she could never bring herself to. There was so much she’d been missing and she was looking forward to experiencing it all now.

Suddenly, a rustling sound startled her. She sat up and watched as someone ran past her. She recognised him as the dark haired man who was looking down at her earlier. He seemed to be in a hurry towards… something. But it didn’t feel right. Her stomach felt uneasy. She jammed her sketchbook into her satchel and hurried after him.

She ran as fast as she could, worry burying deeper into her gut. Something really didn’t feel right. He’d run all the way to the back of the cruiser to the railing that stretched across. Where you could see right down to the lower deck.

He’d climbed over to the other side of the railing. He was facing away, holding himself steady. She carefully walked over as to not startle him. She glanced over the edge. It was a long way down.

“Be careful,” she said from right behind him.

He jumped, surprised by her voice, and turned towards her. There was recognition on his face. He too recognised her from when they first saw each other earlier in the day.

“Don’t come any closer,” he said, his voice trembling.

She didn’t walk any closer to him, but took a few steps closer to the railing. “Are you okay?” She reached her hand out. “Take my hand, I’ll help you back over.”

“I don’t need help.” He turned his attention back down.

She too faced the lower deck. She needed to get through to him somehow. She knew what it was like for everything to feel hopeless and believe that no one would care if she was gone. She knew the feeling. But she knew things didn’t always feel that way.

“It’s a long way down,” she remarked. “Best case scenario, you’ll break a couple of bones.”

She glanced at him, he was now looking at her intently as his breathing intensified. Maybe this would work.

“Worst case scenario, someone of your size could _potentially_ break through the floor down to the mechanics underneath.” She looked up, trying to remember. “The back of the ship is where the majority of the thrusters that power this cruiser are. They could shred you to pieces and burn you alive.”

He was still staring at her but then swallowed and looked down. “How do you know?”

“Not much to do on Jakku.” She frowned at the memory of her lonely life back there. “I scavenged things and spent a lot of time fixing broken parts I found in the starship graveyard. I know how ships work. Someone left a brochure for the LO-19 Starcruiser and I studied it. A little too much.” When she said it out loud she realised how sad her life was. “I know almost every inch of this cruiser.”

He was still holding on insecurely to the railing, but now he seemed more hesitant. She’d gotten him to stall at least.

“I doubt I’d fall through,” he said.

“I know,” she agreed. “That’s _worst_ case scenario. There are many different ways it could go. None of them you come out unscathed.”

He was still looking down, but now he looked unsure of whether he was going to do it.

She took a few careful steps towards him but kept her distance, somehow afraid that if she got too close that would tip him over the edge. She held out her hand again. “ I know what it's like to feel this way.”

“No you _don’t_!” he yelled. He adjusted his grip on the railing. “Just leave me alone. You’re not a part of this.”

His tone frightened her a bit. He had a low, thundering voice. “I am now. If you fall, I’m going to have to pull you back up. I won’t let you do this, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did. Surely you have something to live for.”

His eyes flared at her. “You don’t know _anything_ about me!”

There was something deeply sad about him. He was fighting demons and knew no other way out. She knew the feeling. He was well dressed, no doubt one of the first class passengers. She needed to get through to him somehow. What would help her in a situation like this? A reminder of someone who cared about her.

“I’m sure your parents wouldn’t want you to do this,” she said, tears stinging her eyes as she remembered her own parents. “I’m sure they love you.” She _hoped_ they did, she couldn’t say the same about hers.

That got a reaction, his neck twitched.

“Please.” She took a few steps towards him and reached her hand out further. “They wouldn’t want to lose you.”

She stood there hoping against all odds that he would reconsider doing something that could not be undone. Finally, he slowly released his right hand from the railing and reached out a shaky hand towards hers. She grabbed it firmly, big cold hands, and helped him turn his body around.

She let out a sigh of relief. “I’m Rey.”

He was silent for a few moment before he spoke. She could see his body begin to calm and his breathing slow, but his eyes were still darting around, never quite landing on hers. “Ben.”

She smiled at him. Carefully, she watched as he lifted his right foot up and try to get his footing, but his foot slipped and before she knew what was happening he was falling. She was still gripped onto his hand but he was too heavy and within a few seconds she was only holding on by her finger tips. He looked scared, like a small child who was frightened by something scary. She reached her other hand down but then she lost her grip on him completely.

She let out a primal scream and a power she never knew she had awakened in her. He stopped falling, an inch below the bottom of the platform, his hands attached to nothing. He reached up and grabbed onto the bottom railing with both hands. She leant down and grabbed both of his arms and helped pull him up back over. Once he was upright she gathered him in her arms and pulled him over, using a strength she never knew she possessed.

They both fell to the ground entangled in each other. He quickly shuffled off her and curled up into a ball. He was in shock. So was she.

She carefully sat up shakily and looked at him. “Are you okay?”

He was rocking back and forth as his eyes finally met hers. “How did you do that?”

“Do what?” she asked, but she knew exactly what he meant. It was impossible what happened, but somehow it had.

“I fell.” He swallowed. “I _should_ have fallen. But I didn’t.”

“I… I don’t know,” she whispered, meeting his eyes. “I’ve never done anything like that before.”

Before they had time to continue that conversation, some guards showed up, alerted by the commotion that they’d made. A girl dressed as she was and a well dressed man, it must have been a sight.

One guard points to Ben. “You’re General Leia’s son.” He turned to the others. “Go inform her we’ve found him.”

Rey looked on at him with wide eyes. He was important. He was the son of a _General_. She should have no place even talking to him, let alone be caught with him like this.


	5. Ben

Ben was still shaking when his parents arrived. He couldn’t shake what had happened, and what _should_ have happened. But somehow it didn’t. Because of this girl. She’d saved him, but it was impossible. Unless… could she be like _him?_

“What happened?” his father asked.

“I don’t know, they’re not speaking to us,” a guard replied. Talking to the guards instead of him. His father acting as though he wasn’t even there.

He finally lifted his head to see his father. He was looking at Rey with a look of disapproval.

“Son.” He crouched down to his level. “What happened?”

He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t feel like answering. Not after the things his father had said earlier, the whole reason he was even out here. His mother rushed over and embraced him a hug. That helped, that calmed him down as only she knew how to. Her warm hugs always made him feel better.

“What happened?” his mother asked, squeezing his face in her hands.

He darted his eyes towards Rey, knowing he couldn’t lie to his mothers face. “I was looking over the railing and I slipped. She helped pull me up.”

She glanced over at Rey with a warm smile on her face. “It’s lucky you were here. Thank you.”

Rey acknowledged her thanks but uncertainly looked over at Ben, an unspoken secret between them.

“Come on, son,” his father said, helping him up.

His mother walked over to Rey and offered her a hand up. “What’s your name?”

“Rey.” She was staring at his mother wide eyed.

“Thank you, Rey,” she said, helping her up. “How would you like to have dinner with us tomorrow night?”

Ben halted and looked at them. A strange feeling began in his stomach, he was nervous yet also excited about that possibility. Dinner with someone else other than his parents or their important rich friends.

“Umm,” she said, twiddling her thumbs nervously. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think I’m up for a meal with people of your… calibre.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you are _very_ welcome.”

“No I—” she stuttered. She gestured to her clothes. “This is all I have. This is all I own, I sold everything else to come here.”

His mother put a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll drop by some clothes you can borrow.”

His father began to drag him along. He glanced back at his mother speaking to Rey. He didn’t want to leave. There was something about her. She noticed him staring and gave him a knowing smile. He quickly turned around. For some reason he was petrified that she'd just looked at him like that. Who was she? And why, and _how_ , did she make him feel all these things?

*****

Ben woke up the next day to his body aching. His hands were full of blisters from holding onto the railing. And his arms were red and raw from where she’d grabbed him. He ran his hands over them, remembering what her touch felt like. He stood up and his head began throbbing. He stopped when he got to the door. He could hear his parents arguing again.

“It’s not the first time he’s tried something like this,” his father said.

“We don’t know if that’s what he was going to do,” his mother replies.

“He was angry.” He could hear footsteps, his father no doubt pacing back and forth as he always did. “And upset. Of _course_ that’s he was intending to do.”

The footsteps stopped. “Maybe if you didn’t get _mad_ at him like that. He needs to know he’s loved.”

“ _Love_ isn’t what he needs. He needs help. Luke knows how to do that, we don’t.”

Ben moved away from the door and felt tears beginning to sting his eyes. Love _isn’t_ what he needed? That’s one of the reasons he didn’t want to go. He knew the rules. No love, no attachments, because it can cloud your judgement. A Jedi must be selfless. All a Jedi needs is himself. Well, he’d been alone his entire life and that hadn’t done him any favours.

He wrapped his cowl around himself and then ordered the door to slide open. As soon as it did, the voices went silent.

He made his way into the living room and his parents were both staring at him. That made him uncomfortable.

“How are you feeling?” his mother asked.

“Fine,” he replied. “A little sore.” Then the tears started coming.

“Are you ready to tell us what happened?” his father asked. “Did you try to—?”

“ _Han_.” His mother had her arms crossed.

“I’m sorry,” Ben said. The words just spilled out of him. “I want to get this under control, I do.”

His father embraced him into a hug. “I know, son. I know.”

He let the tears fall into his fathers jacket, as he used to do all the time as a boy. His mother kissed his head through his thick black hair. He pulled away to look at her.

“Will you be ready for dinner soon?” she asked.

He wiped his eyes and then realised his stomach was rumbling. He’d been asleep for a while.

His mother chuckled at the sound of his stomach. “Rey seems nice, doesn’t she?”

At the mention of her name his mouth twitched up in a subtle smile. There was something about her presence that made him feel calm. When he was all but determined to jump off the railing, her care and concern for his wellbeing, despite not even knowing him, somehow turned his feelings around.

He got dressed for the dinner. Not so formal wear as they weren’t meeting with anyone important, as his father pointed out. But he didn’t see it that way. This girl had saved his life, how could they say she’s _not_ important?

His parents left him in the great hall to meet Rey so he could show her the way. In all honesty, he was nervous. He'd never been particularly good at being social, let alone talking to girls that made him feel the way she did.

He was standing underneath the clock, watching the minutes tick by. What if she didn’t even show up? He probably scared her away yesterday. Why would she want anything to do with someone like _him_? She wasn’t a part of this world, a world he desperately wished to be separated from.

But then she walked in, looking immaculate, the opposite of the girl in rags he saw for the first time yesterday. She had a white dress on, borrowed from his mother, and it very much suited her. Aside from the clothes, she was still wearing her very well worn in boots, and her hair was still in those three buns.

Ben’s mouth was open agape. She looked beautiful. Of course, he could never say that out loud. In fact she was more than that, she was… something he didn’t even know how to find a word for.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he replied.

She turned around in a circle. “This place is amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it.” She stopped and caught his gaze. “I never dreamed I’d ever see anything like this.”

Her personality made it easy to make conversation. “Wait until you see the dining hall. And the food.”

Together they walked, arm in arm, to the dining hall. “I can’t wait.”

“Thank you for yesterday." He kept staring straight ahead as they walked, too nervous to look at her.

He noticed her head turn toward him yet he didn’t turn to her. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She took a seat next to his mother, right across from him, and he sat next to his father.

She looked down at the table and seemed severely overwhelmed. This must be a completely different world to what she’s used to.

“Thank you for coming, Rey,” she said.

“Thank you for inviting me.” She settled her gaze on his father.

He didn’t like the attention. “What?” he snapped at her.

Rey shook her head. “I wasn’t entirely sure last night, I thought you looked familiar but—” She stopped rambling and got the point. “You’re _Han Solo_. You piloted the Millennium Falcon through the Kessel run in _fourteen_ parsecs.”

His father grunted. “Twelve.”

“Right, sorry, _twelve_ parsecs.” She stood up and began to reach her hand out but then quickly sat back down, trying not to let her excitement take over. “It’s an honour to meet you.”

His father didn’t respond. “That was a long time ago. I’m not that person anymore.”

Thankfully that awkward conversation is shut down when their food arrives. Ben is used to this and doesn’t think anything of it, but watching Rey's reaction filled him with happiness. She’d never seen anything like it.

“Wow,” she breathed, looking at him with a big smile on her face.

She began to shovel the food into her mouth with her hands. His father looked horrified. But his mother understood how different worlds were colliding here, and looked on at her with an amused smile. Rey stopped when she noticed their stares and used a handful of napkins to wipe her hands.

Ben picked up his fork and watched as she mimicked him, which was a good idea. Better to copy someone else than make a fool of yourself.

“This is delicious!” she exclaimed. She looked like a child full of wonder.

“Rey,” his father began. “Where are you from?”

She was tempted to begin talking right as the question was asked, but decided to swallow a mouthful of food before she did. “Jakku.”

“Jakku, huh?” His father looked down upon her. “Where are you headed?”

“I don’t know. I scavenged a whole bunch of junk and traded it for a ticket on this cruiser with no plan. I’ve never left Jakku before but I’m ready for a new adventure.” She had a sparkle in her eyes. She was looking forward to the future. “What about you?”

Ben stayed silent and his father continued eating his food. His mother was the one to speak. “My brother, he has an academy that Ben is going to train at.” Now he felt embarrassed. He loved his mother but she was always oversharing.

Rey turned her attention to him which was the last thing he wanted her to ask him about. “What kind of academy?”

He didn’t feel like answering, not in the slightest.

“Have you heard of Luke Skywalker?” his mother asked.

Rey opened her mouth into a big _O_. “Luke Skywalker? Jedi Master? I thought he was a myth.”

Ben put his fork down, suddenly he’d lost his appetite. He thought this girl was different. But maybe she was just the same. Being starstruck by his parents, basing her assumptions and views of him based on his bloodline.

She was still looking at him. “Wow. You’re so lucky.”

He didn’t feel that way. He’d much rather be a nobody from nowhere who had nothing to live up to and could be his own person.

Once they’d finished the first course, Rey sat back and sighed. “That was the best meal I’ve _ever_ had. I’m used to instant rations of mush. This food was _incredible_.”

His mother smiled over at her, her plate still a quarter full. She offers it to his father, who brushes her away. “If only Chewie were here, he always helps eats my leftovers.”

“He’s a Wookiee,” Ben said, looking over at Rey, wondering if she even knew what that was.

Rey grins and makes a noise out of her mouth that is distinctly _Shyriiwook_.

He couldn’t help but smile. The more he learnt about her, the more fascinating she became. “You speak _Shyriiwook_?”

She nodded. “I speak _twenty-six_ different languages. Of course, I’ve never met a Wookiee before, they don’t seem to visit places like Jakku.”

Ben smiled at the thought of introducing her to Chewie. He was sure he’d love her and they’d get along very well.

His father had been strangely silent for most of the night. Since Rey made the initial incorrect declaration about the Kessel run, which his father _hated_ talking about, he barely paid any attention to her presence throughout the night. His mother, on the other hand, reacted very warmly to her and liked her just as much, if not more, than he did. This girl made him smile just by being herself.

“So,” Rey said after a while, tuning her attention back to Ben. “You’re going to become a _Jedi_?”

Ben gave a small nod and then averted his gaze down to his food. He didn’t want talk about it. It hurt when people reacted like this. Because he didn’t feel lucky. He felt like a problem. He felt like there was something wrong with him and all his parents wanted was to get rid of him.

Thankfully she doesn’t say anything more about it. In fact, she looks somewhat sympathetic towards him from then on.

As his parents were discussing the logistics of an important meeting tomorrow, Ben watched as Rey took a piece of charcoal out of her pocket and flattened a napkin on the table. He couldn’t see what she was writing, but once she was done she folded it up an slid it along to him.

He took it and held it tightly in his fist. He placed his hand in his lap under the table so his parents wouldn’t notice.

Rey stood up. “I should get going. Thank you for the lovely meal.”

“You are very welcome,” his mother said, giving her a hug.

She looked uncomfortable at first, but then leant into the hug. When they pulled apart, Rey gave him a smile and arched her eyebrow. He nodded back at her.

She looked down at her clothing. "I'll give you back the clothes tomorrow."

His mother brushed off that statement. “You keep them."

“Are you sure?"

His mother gave her a warm smile. “Of course, dear. They’re yours.”

Rey looked down sheepishly. Those rags she was wearing last night were her only possessions and now she had this gorgeous dress.

He watched her leave. While his parents were arguing about some petty thing, mostly about how his father wasn’t very kind to Rey, he opened up the note under the table.

_Meet me at the great hall at midnight._


	6. Rey

It had been hours since the dinner and Rey was still uncomfortably full. She may have eaten a little _too_ much and _too_ fast. She’d never had such a surplus of food before. But she’d had an opportunity and she took it. She’d learnt to always eat when she had the chance, because her next meal was never certain.

She’d gone back to her chambers and told BB-8 all that had happened. He was keen to come to the party too so she’d sent him off while she waited in the great hall. She listened to the ticking of the clock as it neared midnight, beginning to doubt whether he’d show up. She knew all about waiting, and was beginning to believe she might be waiting all night and he wouldn’t show.

But right as the clock pinged to signify midnight, he was standing there in front of her.

She stood up hastily. “You came.”

He combed his hand through his hair. "You invited me.”

She didn’t respond. She was used to people forgetting about her, throwing her away. Not coming back for her. But he’d come.

Rey held out her arm and he hooked his through. “You showed me first class life, now I’ll show you what lower class life is like.”

The basement party was wild. All types of creatures, droids, and people like them. A wide range of individuals. The band was great, the music was catchy and everyone was laughing and having a great time.

Ben hesitated in the doorway, not sure whether he wanted to go in. This was probably not really his scene.

Rey noticed his hesitance and took his hand. “Come on, let’s dance.”

He stood back and refused to be pulled in. “I don’t dance.”

She put her arms down and pouted. “Really? You subjected me to a fancy dinner where I made a complete fool of myself when I ate with my hands. Dancing is the _least_ you can do to make it up to me.”

He let his guard down and took her hand. “One dance, then I’m buying you a drink.”

“I don’t know how to dance either.” Rey led him onto the dance floor and faced him. “But we’ll figure it out.”

They began to jump around and turn around in circles, having the time of their life. No one was staring at them, everyone was too busy having their own fun. It got the point where both of them let all their worries go and laughed together.

Ben began to get dizzy and so they stopped. Rey got him settled at a table in the corner of the bar.

“I’ll get us drinks,” she said, making sure he was stable. “You make sure you don’t pass out.”

She came back with two glasses full of some kind of purple concoction.

Ben took a sip and his face contorted in disgust. “What _is_ this?”

“A specialty Jawa mix.” Rey took a sip and her mouth recoiled.

He pushed his cup away. “It’s disgusting.”

She snorted, some of the drink flying out her nose. “It is, isn’t it?”

BB-8 came rolling out and nudged her leg. She smiled at her little friend. The droid beeped a few times and then turned to Ben.

“Yes, yes,” she responded to him. “This is who I was telling you about.” She blushed at the next few beeps and playfully hit him. “Shhh, BB-8.” She looked up. “This is my best friend, and roommate.”

The droid then rammed into Ben’s leg. He tired to stifle his pain and nodded in return. “Hi.”

“BB-8,” she scolded him as he let out a few intense beeps. “Fine, I’ll meet you back there later.”

He rolled off and then Ben began to laugh. “Cute droid.”

“Yeah.” She watched the droid roll out before turning back to him. “I’m sorry, he can be a bit aggressive around new people. He’s been my only friend for the past few years.”

It looked like he felt sorry for her. “Well, I’m glad you had each other.”

She was looking at him, concentrating on him hard which she could tell made him uncomfortable. “You don’t want to go to your uncles academy?”

This topic seemed to be hard for him to talk about, and not one he was particularly eager to share. “No.”

“Why not?” she asked. “Your father is _Han Solo_ , who did the Kessel run in _twelve parsecs_. Your mother is a _General_ and your uncle is _Luke Skywalker_ , the greatest Jedi Master to have ever lived!” She couldn’t contain the glee on her face. “You’re basically royalty.”

“It’s not as great as it seems,” he said in a low voice. “Having all these expectations put onto you simply based on who you’re related to. I’d much rather be a nobody.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Rey’s face fell. That statement hurt her. He parents were a sore spot. She _desperately_ wanted to understand where she stood in the world, where she belonged. That’s why she couldn’t let her parents go. She wanted to know who they were, and why they left her. Maybe then she’d understand.

They were silent for a few moments before he spoke again. “What you did yesterday—”

“I _told_ you,” she snapped, still angry because she was thinking of her parents. “I don’t know how I did that. I don’t know what that was. There is this _thing_ that’s always been inside me. I never knew what it was or where it came from.” She looked up at him. “But now it’s awake.”

“I know what it is.” He was looking at her with a strong intensity. “The _force_.”

“The _force_ ,” she breathed. She’d heard of it, and she knew the legends and that the Jedi used it’s power, but she didn’t know what it looked like or how it felt.

“I feel it too,” he whispered, leaning his face close to hers.

This was overwhelming. These things she’d felt her entire life - like a force pulling her towards _something -_ it’s what led her here. It _must_ have been. It led her here to someone who also felt those same things. It must have been fate, or something along those lines. She’d come here for a reason. Could this be why?

“What happened yesterday,” she began, trying to swallow her fears. “That’s not the first time you’ve tried something like that.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a statement. And the look on his face confirmed it and that broke her heart. He looked on the verge of tears. She stood up and dragged him back onto the dance floor. She didn’t want their night end on bad terms.

After some more dancing, or rather twirling around entangled in each other, Ben walked her back to her chambers. They were walking hand in hand along the enclosed corridors.

“You could come with me,” he said out of the blue.

“Come where?”

He stopped when they got to her door. “To the academy.”

She leant back against the door and took both of his hands in hers. “Ben, I’m a nobody. There’s no way I’d get accepted.”

“Luke is my uncle, I’m sure he’d say yes if I asked.” He was almost begging, there was a longing desperation in his eyes.

She didn’t know how to respond. A Jedi academy? Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined going somewhere like that. She’d love to get this under control, but her self esteem was so low that she wouldn’t feel at home there. She wouldn’t feel like she belonged.

“I had a good night,” Ben said, dropping the subject because she’d taken too long to respond.

She smiled back at him. “Me too.”

Without another word, he walked away and her stomach was full of a fluttering force pulsing through it. She opened the door and BB-8 was immediately on her before she even had a chance to close the door completely.

“Whoa, BB-8, calm down.” But she couldn’t contain her happiness. The beeping was coming at her too fast. “I know he’s handsome, isn’t he?” She collapsed down onto her bed. “He makes me feel a way I’ve never felt before. I only just met him yet I can’t imagine life without him now.”

The beeping and nudging was overwhelming. BB-8 was just as excited as she was, maybe even more so.

She rolled over so she was eye level with his. “What do I do?”

Her droid was wise. More wise than anyone she’d ever met. There was one key thing that lodged in her brain from all his beeping. _Feelings_.

“Trust my feelings.”

That’s what she needed to do. She had never felt this much joy, like an engine was constantly running. She felt electric. She felt alive. She knew for sure at this exact moment, he was going to be a part of her future.


	7. Ben

Last night was more than Ben could have ever imagined. He couldn’t even comprehend what had happened. He woke late and was walking around in a daze.

“Son,” his father’s voice broke through. “What is going on with you?”

He yawned as he walked into the living room. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“It’s that girl, isn’t it? You saw her last night.”

He swallowed hard. “I don’t know what—”

“Oh, we noticed you weren’t in your room.” His father crossed his arms.

He didn’t know how to respond. So _what_ if he was with her? Why does it matter to them? Thankfully, his mother intervened.

“It’s fine.” His mother embraced him in a hug, narrowing her eyes at his father. “She’s a very sweet girl.”

His mother understood, which calmed down his anger. “I was hoping to see her again today.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” his father said sternly. “You’re going to begin your training in a few days.”

“Oh Han, let him have his fun,” his mother said, pinching his cheeks as she’d always done since he was a child. “Look at how happy he looks.”

He loved his mother, more than anything. She always understood him and could sympathise with everything he was going through. She was force sensitive too, of course not as strong as he was, but she always understood his struggles, even if she didn’t know how to help.

Ben wandered around the lower deck, hoping to find Rey out there somewhere. Suddenly, someone grabbed him from behind. He was dragged into an empty auditorium. The door shut and everything was silent.

Rey leaned back against the door, wearing her old rags with her satchel hung across her body. He could see her sketchbook sticking out the top. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he responded croakily.

“I… I just wanted to see you,” she stuttered. “Alone.”

“Me too,” he said. “I… I’m not good at this, at talking to… socially… or—”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been talking to a droid for the past six years.” She poked his upper arm. “If I start trying to press your buttons then I apologise.”

He chuckled. It was so easy for her. She was so likeable without even trying. Unlike him with the stone cold exterior no one could break through.

“I’m sorry for asking you all those questions last night. I’m just trying to understand.” She sat down cross legged on the floor. “You have a family who _love_ you, who _care_ about you, yet you wish to have nothing to do with them.”

He joins her on the floor. In all honesty, he didn’t feel like getting into it. He didn’t want to talk about it. “What about _your_ parents? What happened to them?”

It was as though a wall came crashing down around her, shutting him out. She hugged her satchel to her chest and turned away. “I don’t want to talk about them.”

He suddenly felt his anger beginning to get out of his control again. “So it’s fine for you to ask _me_ questions about my parents, but I can’t ask you anything about _yours_?”

His anger escalated and the floor below them began to shake. It could have simply been turbulence, but they both knew that’s not what it was. It was emanating from inside of him.

She looked afraid. Scared, of him. As she should be. He was a monster. It’s what everyone thought. It’s what his parents knew him to be. It’s what he had begun to believe too. It’s probably what she thought of him now.

In a burst of anger, the shaking came to an abrupt halt as he snatched the sketchbook out of her satchel and stood up.

“Hey,” she yelled, trying to grab it back.

He focussed and froze her in place so she couldn’t move. He began to flick through the book. The drawings were immaculate. Of ships. The desert. People. droids. Herself, looking younger. A ship leaving her. She’d documented her whole life. He was in awe of the way she saw things. He then he got to drawings of men, almost nude, their bodies like sculpted marble. He blushed as he realised what he was looking at, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and coming back to his senses. He let her go and she stumbled to keep upright.

He quickly closed the book and handed it back to her. He shouldn’t have done that. “Sorry.”

She looked a bit shaken, but mostly she looked sad. “There was this outdoor bathing section near the trading post.” She swallowed. “They had no shame and so I…“ She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “I used to study them from afar. I don’t know if I should have but I did.”

She was opening up, despite what he’d done, and he felt bad. “I’m sorry I did that. I shouldn’t have. Sometimes my anger gets out of control. I’m sorry.”

She hugs her book to her chest and looks at him. Not longer scared, just vulnerable. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have expected you to open up when I wasn’t willing to do the same.”

She settled back onto the ground with her legs crossed. He joined her and looked at her expectantly, but he didn’t want to push her. Not after what he’d just done. He squeezed his fists together, wanting to get this under control. He wanted to. But he wanted to stay home. He didn’t want to become a Jedi. He wanted to be himself.

“My parents left,” she started, taking a deep breath. "They didn’t just leave, they _sold_ me. For drinking money. Because that was more important than _me_ , their daughter.” There was a hint of anger in her voice. “I kept hoping they'd come back because without them, I didn’t know who I was. Without them, I was alone.”

"You’re not alone,” he said, placing his hand on top of hers. “Not anymore.”

She met his eyes. “Neither are you.”

She was abandoned by her parents. They left her alone. They weren’t there for support or for her to lean on. They weren't there to help her. That’s how he felt too. His parents didn’t exactly abandon him, but it felt like they had. He’d had a lonely life, feeling like the odd one out. Feeling different. Feeling forgotten. Feeling misunderstood.

She began to pull at her hair. “I’ve had this _stupid_ hairstyle since I was kid. I was too afraid to change it in the hopes they’d come back and be able to recognise me.” She gives up on trying to undo it with a huff. “But I think deep down I knew they were never coming back.” Tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks. “Yet I couldn’t help _needing_ them.”

“Here,” he said, shuffling over to her. He gets on his knees and helps her to take her hair out of the tight buns. “I know the feeling. It’s hard to move on from the past. Sometimes you just want to _kill_ it.” He pulled a little too hard as he said that and made her yelp. “Sorry.”

She relaxed and he could feel her breath calm down. “Or hold onto it.”

He finished taking her hair down in silence and then went back around to face her. He took her loose hair and rested it on each side of her shoulders. “You look—” He didn’t know how to continue that sentence.

She managed a small smile and looked down. “Different.”

“I like it,” he said, taking her hand.

She hurriedly pulled out of his grip and stood up, leaving him on the floor on his knees. “You should probably go, your parents… I’m sure they don’t want you spending all of your time with me. But it was nice seeing you again.” With her hair down, she looked free. No longer restricted.

“It was nice seeing you too.”

She hesitated at the door. “If you don’t want to go to the academy, then you shouldn’t. We can… I can help talk to your parents.”

He knew what she was trying to do. She wanted to help him out of it. But it wasn’t that easy. He couldn’t just tell them he didn’t want to go and everything would be fine. It wasn’t her problem. She wasn’t involved. “It’s not up to you to save me.”

“No,” she said, offering him her hand. “Only you can do that.”

She helped pull him up. For a few moments, they stood hand in hand, just looking into each others eyes. And then Ben hurried out of the room. He was on a high from spending just a fraction of time with her. Even though they fought, he’d gained more insight into who she was.

This girl made her feel something he’d never experienced before. It was like the galaxy was on fire and he was in the middle. In a good way. When they were together, his heart beat to the beat of her own. In sync with someone else, not afraid to be himself.

When he got back to his chambers, he could hear his parents arguing through the door. About him, no doubt, as always. He felt a pang of guilt. He knew his parents only wanted what was best for him, and what he needed was to get this under control. He wanted to make them proud, of course he did. But going to the academy, becoming a Jedi… it meant to cut ties with everyone. It meant having no attachments. To be isolated from everyone else. To be alone.

And he didn’t want that. He’d only just met Rey but she’d had a profound impact on him and he couldn’t imagine living without her. Living without her wouldn’t be living at all.


	8. Rey

It had only been two days since she met him, yet life had opened up so completely for her. These feelings, she’d never felt anything like it before. It was something that jolted through her entire body. That was how she felt when he saw him, let alone when they touched.

They began to spend entire days together, which his father didn’t approve of. But they only had a few shorts days and then they’d go their seperate ways. Him, to his uncles academy. Her, to wherever the tide took her. She still didn’t know. And that excited her, but also terrified her.

They spent hours talking about everything, watching the stars, and observing the other passengers. She was familiar with almost all the different species from all the reading she did back home, but seeing them was something else.

She sketched and he watched, as the stars passed by overhead. A passenger caught her eye. “Is that an Ewok?”

Ben turned his head towards where her gaze was targeted. A little teddy bear like creature. “It sure is.” He said with a smile. “Want to go meet him?”

She shook her head. “I heard they’re lethal. Cute, but could shred you to pieces.”

He grinned. “They’re not _all_ like that. When I was young my parents would sometimes leave them in charge of taking care of me when they went away.”

She smiled as she began sketching the Ewok. That was always her way, looking on from afar. “You sound like you had an interesting childhood. I can’t say the same for me.”

“It was lonely,” he said. “My parents were always away, my dad went all over the galaxy to wherever the next job was. My mother had her important duties in the Resistance. I was always left with friends of theirs who I didn’t know. Being the son of _royalty_ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

She gave him a knowing smile. He may not have been alone in the literal sense, but he still felt alone and as though no one understood him. She closed her sketchbook and got his attention.

“I was thinking,” she started. Ben looked on at her in anticipation, wondering what she was going to say. “About your offer, to come with you.” She paused as she gathered the strength to say what she wanted. “I _know_ you don’t want to go to the academy.”

He hesitated before he answered. “My parents think it’s what’s best—”

“But it’s not what _you_ want,” she pointed out. “When we stop, lets run off together. We can teach each other how to use the force. We can _help_ each other.”

Since he really didn’t want to go, and since they both were dealing with something that no one else could understand, maybe they _could_ help each other.

He contemplated that. “Just the two of us.”

She was trembling at the thought of what this could mean. “Where should we go?”

Ben thought for a moment before he answered. “Naboo,” he said with a smile. “It’s where my grandmother was from. Lush green fields, and lots of waterfalls.” He found her eyes. “With no sand in sight.”

No sand, that sounded good to her. The way he described it, it sounded familiar. In fact, she felt like she’d seen it before. Rey grabbed her sketchbook and opened to a page with scenery that was similar to what he’d described.

“You’ve been there?” he asked, surprised.

She’d never left Jakku before, but somehow she felt like she’d been there. “I’ve only seen it in dreams.”

He took the sketchbook and studied it. “We could go there and teach other. I don’t have to go to Luke’s academy.”

She felt doubtful. Living so long on that same planet, growing up so lonely, this sounded too good to be true. But what was stopping them? They could pave their own future. One where they wouldn’t be alone anymore.

But then his demeanour changed. “I don't know. I can’t just… run away from everything.”

She closed her sketchbook and placed a hand on his. “Think about it.”

It certainly sounded crazy, but imagine if they did it. _Imagine_ what their lives could be. So elated by the thought of this possible future, Rey pulled him up and dragged him along. Past all the passengers. Past the Ewok she was so fascinated with, who gave her an evil stare as she accidentally knocked into him.

Rey stopped at the front of the cruiser and positioned him on the edge of the railing. “We can do anything!” She took his arms and spread them out wide and then wrapped her own arms around his chest. “We’re flying!”

That was obvious, they were travelling through space after all. Passengers stared but she had no shame. It was how she felt when she was with him. She felt invincible, as though anything was possible.

Ben felt uncertain before he finally gathered his confidence as he looked straight ahead. “We can do anything!”

As the stars slowly passed by, they both felt on top of the galaxy. Like they could do _anything_. This electric energy between them was overwhelming, opening up inside them like the power of a thousand thrusters. It was almost too much for them to bear.

She took his hands and he lowered them so his arms were holding hers around his chest. He craned his neck around and his lips were right in front of her eyes. Her heart began to beat to the beat of a thousand volts. She was excited, and nervous. She’d never been this close to someone before. And she also had no idea of what she was doing and what would happen next.

He moved his face close, his eyes staring down at hers. _Let him take charge._ He probably had a better idea of what to do than she did.

Suddenly, their lips were connected and a surge of energy went through her body. It was easy, effortless, like their lips were made for each other. His hand was on the back of her neck and she squeezed her arms tighter around his waist.

Everything felt right. Everything felt different. This is where she was meant to be. This is what she’d been missing all those years. This was her destiny. Him. Them. Together.


	9. Ben

He had no idea what he was doing. He’d seen his parents kiss, sure. And every once in a while his uncle Lando would bring a new woman over and he’d see them kiss. But he hadn’t had any first hand experience and was completely clueless. But she was there, _right_ there, and he had to do it.

And it was magical. He now felt different somehow. He’d never felt so connected to someone else before. Someone who fit right in with him. Someone who melted into him.

Ben was so caught up in the moment that he had this sudden urge to take Rey to his quarters. His large strides were a little to fast for her short legs.

“Ben, slow down,” she said, breathless.

He came to a stop. “Sorry.” He didn’t need to say anymore, she knew why he was rushing. She felt the same things, this adrenaline pulsing through his veins that he had to give into.

They slowed to a more reasonable pace and reached the door of his quarters. “I want to show you something.”

He unlocked the door and walked in. She looked around with her mouth open wide. She had never seen anything so spacious.

“Wow,” she breathed as she ran her hand along the sofa.

Ben unlocked the safe and pulled the kyber crystal out. He remembered back to when his mother gave it to him. She explained what it was, and what he would one day use it for - to forge his own lightsaber when he trained to become a Jedi. His mother said this one was drawn to him. It _chose_ him.

He turned around and she looked at it with fascination. “Is it real?”

He dropped it into her hands. “A kyber crystal.”

“Wow,” she said. “I never thought I’d actually see one in the flesh. I always hoped one would wash up on Jakku and I’d find it. Then I could have left a long time ago.”

He took it back. “I’m supposed to forge a lightsaber with it at the academy. You inflict energy and strength into it through the force which gives it it’s power.”

He held the crystal tight in both hands and squeezed his eyes shut. He focussed on the energy pulsing through his veins. The connection of every living thing that bound the galaxy together. It coursed through his body. Connection. Hope. Light. He could feel it travel through his veins as it transferred out of him and began to power the crystal.

But then his feelings began to get dark. Pain. Suffering. Anger. It was out of his control. A sharp pain went through his hands.

“Ben.” His ears were ringing but he could just make out her voice.

He opened his eyes to a red glow pulsating through his hands. He dropped the crystal. It pinged when it hit the ground but was still glowing red.

He kneeled down and carefully picked up the crystal in his hands. It was pulsating red like it was in pain, and there was a giant crack right down the middle. Like everything else in his life, he’d ruined it. It was broken.

He held it out flat and faced her. “I broke it.”

Rey calmly comforted him. “Let me see.”

She took it delicately into her hands and closed her eyes. He watched as her face calmed down and a look of pure bliss washed over her. The crystal took on a different form and began to change colour. It went from red, to blue, and then it turned _white_. The crack healed into a scar and it was pulsing calmly, like it was at peace.

He was looking on in awe. “How did you do that?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, handing it back to him.

He examined the crystal. It was intact, it was no longer cracked, but there was a scar where it had been. How did she do that? She had managed to fix something that he’d ruined. She’d fixed his mistake.

He looked up at her. She was now wandering around the room as if a miracle had just not been performed. He was completely enamoured with her. This girl had fixed something he’d broken. She was something special.

“How long until your parents get back?” Rey asked.

“About an hour.”

She took her satchel off as she looked at him. “Great, we have enough time.”

A sudden burst of nervousness went through his body. He looked at her questionably. There was something he knew of that two people did when they were alone, when they didn’t want anyone else to see what they were doing. But he was completely inexperienced and had no clue what to do. It’s not like his parents had even talked to him much about it. One of the perks of sending their kid to a Jedi Academy, where they had strict rules about that kind of thing.

He put the crystal down on the dresser and took a step towards her. “Rey.”

She was crouched down ruffling around in her satchel. She pulled her sketchbook out and held it up. “I’ll draw you.”

“Oh,” he said, relieved. That was all she’d meant. Yet his nerves were still on fire.

She noticed his expression and furrowed her brows. “Only if you want me to.”

“Yes, I do,” he said immediately.

He turned away from her and remembered back to the sketches he’d seen in her sketchbook. Of the men she’d drawn. His heart began pounding. He undid the buttons on his shirt and pulled it off, carefully placing it over the sofa. Then he hesitated with his fingers on the zipper of his high waisted pants. He’d never been this open with someone else before. He’d never let anyone see underneath all the layers of clothing. He’d never let anyone in to see who he really was.

He felt a cold hand on his back and he turned towards her. Her eyes slowly moved up his wide chest before landing on his eyes. “This is good.” Her voice came out shakily. She was nervous too.

He kept his eyes on her, not willing to look away quite yet. Her hand was on his hip now and he didn’t want her to take it away.

She broke eye contact with him and took a step away. She cleared her throat. “If you want to—” she trailed off as she gestured towards the sofa.

He made his way over. “How do you want me to pose?”

He craned his neck around and watched her take the crystal off the dresser and hand it to him. “Hold this. It can be the centrepiece of the drawing.”

He tried to get comfortable on the sofa. But he was feeling a little strange sitting here, shirtless, with her watching him. “Aren’t I the centrepiece?”

She arranged herself on the chair. “Yes, of course. I just thought, something your eye catches might be… not that _you’re_ not… umm.” Her face began to go red. “If you don’t want to—”

“No,” he cut in, remembering back to what just happened with the crystal. The almost tragedy she’d somehow fixed. “It reminds me of you.”

She tucked a piece of hair begin her ear sheepishly. She had nervous tics too. She got her charcoal and sketchbook ready and looked at him. “Have the crystal in your right hand, resting it on the cushion.” Her eye was contorted, directing him confidently. “Put your other arm, bend it like that, behind your head. Good.” She glanced at her sketchbook and then back to him. “Put your head down slightly. Look at me. Keep your eyes on me. And try to stay still.”

That wouldn’t be such a problem, he liked looking at her, especially when she was in her element while she was drawing.

She began to sketch him, her face furrowed in concentration as her hand lightly went across the page. She constantly took quick glances up at him and then got back to drawing.

It was tough staying still for that long but it was worth it for her. His mind wandered to the crystal in his hand. He still felt like a failure. That crystal was incredibly valuable and he’d almost destroyed it. But she’d somehow fixed it.

“You doing alright?” she asked him.

“Yes,” he said with a smile, then went back to his resting face. He didn’t want to have inconsistencies in the drawing.

“Your face looks red,” she observed. “Do you need some water?”

“No,” he said, blushing even more. It wasn’t dehydration that was the problem, it was the effect she had on him. She made him feel things he didn’t know how to explain. Things that felt even more powerful than the force.

“Almost done,” she said. He watched as she made the final few strokes and then focussed on him with a grin on her face. “Done.”

He smiled back and her and began to relax his body. He loosened the grip on the crystal and found it had imprinted it’s sharp edges onto his palm. He stood up and placed it on the dresser. He walked around behind Rey just as she was signing the bottom of the drawing.

The lifelikeness of it was astounding. She’d managed to get his hair and his eyes spot on, and all the creases and lines all over his body were drawn with so much detail. “You’re amazing.”

She carefully ripped the page from her sketchbook and handed it to him.

“Thank you,” he said. He leaned in close to kiss her, which she reciprocated. He was feeling all sorts of things but needed to not let his emotions overpower him at this moment, as much as he didn’t want to fight it.

He stood back and stared at the drawing. If anything happened, he'd always have this to look back on. He found an envelope and slid it inside. He placed it in the open safe and then closed the door and locked it with the combination. Just for safekeeping, his parents wouldn’t open it back up again until they were due to leave the cruiser. He hoped. He’d take it out before then.

“I’m sure it’s not worthy of being kept in there,” she said. “Among things such as a kyber crystal.”

He took her by the shoulders. “It is to me.”

It wasn’t until her eyes darted down that he realised he hadn’t put his shirt back on. His cheeks reddened again and he felt a chill go through his body. She stood back and watched as he buttoned his shirt back up.

Just as he’d put his shirt back on, there was a noise outside the door. “They’re back,” he said.

Rey jumped up anxiously. “I should go.”

He took her hand and led her through to the other living room and slid the door shut. His heart was beating fast. He didn’t want his parents to know what they’d been doing.

“How big are your quarters?” she whispered, her eyes travelling around the room.

He smiled at the naivety she had of his world. He quietly dragged her along and ordered the back door open.

“Ben?” His father’s voice reverberated though the walls.

He ignored it and together they walked out into the hallway, acting as if everything was completely normal. Hand in hand, they walked fast, until they heard his fathers voice again and he began to run, dragging Rey behind him, down the hallway and into the elevator.


	10. Rey

They stumbled out of the elevator and Ben continued to drag her along. They went down some stairs to the place where the food was being prepared, in which she took a tart off a serving plate and stuffed it into her mouth as they ran. Down some more stairs, and then he opened the first door and they found themselves in an empty corridor.

Rey’s heart was beating fast, as she could sense his was too. They laughed together at the pure adrenaline running through their veins. How close they were to being caught. How wrong what they were doing felt. Yet how it felt so right.

She looked around at their surroundings. She recognised this place. The white walls and confined feeling, they must be close to the back of the cruiser. She took his hand and dragged him along. She stopped at a door and banged on it, eventually pushing it open. They found themselves in a small room where it was steaming hot.

She looked down the small gap in the floor. It was where all the thrusters and controls were that powered the cruiser. Down there was the lowest of the lowest decks. The place where he very well could have fallen to when they first met.

She gave him a knowing look and then lowered herself down the trap door. He followed suit without hesitation. He was very wary when they first met, but it seemed he had begun to trust her. The heat reminded her of how she felt looking at his bare chest. He was obviously nervous to be that stripped down in front of her. She’d tried to make him feel comfortable, and he was the best subject he’d had. And the only willing one. The whole thing was like an out of body experience. It didn’t feel real yet it very much was.

It was exactly as she’d described to him that first day. All sorts of machines chugging away, and the thrusters being watched over by droids who were keeping things in order. If he had fallen through the floor, he very likely could have been killed.

A droid rolled up to them. “What are you doing down here?” it said with a very eloquent accent. “Only droids are allowed—”

They didn’t stay to listen to the rest, she grabbed his hand and they ran as fast as they could. Snaking their way through a maze of machines and droids. She was experienced with this, all the times she’d scavenged in places she wasn’t supposed to go. She knew to run away from the law.

“Great work everyone,” she announced, glancing back at Ben. “They do amazing work keeping this ship in the air, they really deserve more credit.”

She had always been one to acknowledge the people doing the work. Wealthy people never stoped to even thank them. Without all the selfless droids like the ones down here, the wealthy wouldn’t have any luxurious cruisers to travel on.

When they were near the exit, she stopped. The machinery was letting off a lot of steam and there was sweat seeping out of her body. She stared at Ben, in the orange light he looked like some kind of a prince. His floppy hair was soaked and he was panting from the humidity and the adrenaline.

She leaned in close to him and their lips joined. The steam flowing all around them, binding them together. What they were doing was forbidden, she knew it was. His parents didn’t approve. And sooner or later they’d be separated. But she could tell by his enthusiasm that he wanted this just as much as she did.

Rey found the exit door and opened it wide. The sudden change in temperature shocked their system. It was cold in here. From her calculations from studying the layout of the cruiser, she knew where they must be and a wide grin appeared on her face.

They walked past boxes of belongings and arrived at the hanger bay. Hundreds of ships all lined up neatly. On Jakku, she was used to mostly seeing junk that she had to work hard on to fix. This was a dream come true.

“I’ve never seen this many ships in one place before,” she said, twirling around. “Or in this great condition. I’m always scavenging the broken ships for parts to repair and sell.”

“Well,” Ben said, taking her hand. "Take your pick. We’ll go for a spin.”

Rey wandered through the lines of ships and settled on an X-wing starfighter. It was locked, but she knew a trick. She hacked at the door and eventually it unjammed and opened up.

“After you,” she said, bowing down to him in a mocking way. He was royalty after all, this is how they’re _supposed_ to be treated.

He smiled at her and took her hand as he climbed into the backseat. She settled into the pilots seat and familiarised herself with the controls. Everything seemed to be in working order. She’d never been in a real ship like this before, only the broken ones in the starship graveyard. She pretended to pilot it.

“Just avoided the blasts from the TIE fighter,” she said enthusiastically. She’d always dreamed of piloting something like this. “We’ll make the jump to light speed in three, two, one…“ She jolted back into her seat and acted as though they were flying through hyperspace.

She glanced back at Ben, who was leaning forward in his seat and breathing on her neck which gave her goosebumps. “Where to mister?”

“To the stars,” he whispered into her ear, dragging her into the back seat with him.

Together, in the tight enclosed space, they held each other. Her arms wrapped around him, her head nuzzled into his neck. It was a very tight fit, but she didn’t mind. She liked being this close to him. His eyes were so expressive. Looking at them felt as if she could almost _feel_ how he was feeling.

“You’re nervous?” she asked, more of a question than a statement.

He didn’t respond, he averted his eyes from hers and that was enough of an answer.

When his eyes were back on hers, she tried to calm his nerves. “Don’t be afraid,” she whispered. “I feel it too.”

She watched as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles, one by one. Then pressed his hand against hers, hers small and his large. Her urges overtook everything and she smashed her face agains his, wanting to inhale every part of him. His body began to tremble as he tried to take off her clothes.

Both of them, desperate, wanting to give into their feelings. His hands were all over he body, trying to pull her awkwardly styled rags off. She’d managed to get his shirt off but was struggling with his pants. He stopped her.

“Rey,” he said, his voice coming out in short breaths. “I’ve never—”

She combed his sweat soaked hair out of his eyes. “Neither have I. We’ll figure it out together.”

She didn’t know what she was doing. Neither did he. The two of them in this crammed X-wing trying to figure this out. But she wouldn’t have it any other way. She wanted him, more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life. Even more than she’d wanted her parents to come back for her.

For the first time in her life, she felt seen. She’d found someone who had seen deep into her soul and still wanted to be with her. She wanted to open up every part of her to him. She wanted to feel wanted and warm. She never wanted to be alone again.


	11. Ben

His breaths came out in short and tired bursts. The windows had fogged up from the heat of their bodies and it was like they were in their own little secret space. He was on a high, it felt like an entire system of shooting stars were exploding inside of him.

His body was shaking as he found her eyes. She was breathing heavily too and wouldn’t let her eyes leave his.

She wrapped her right arm around his shoulders and suddenly a worried look crossed her face. “Are you okay? You’re trembling.”

It wasn’t from fear, or worry. It was because he’d just experienced the most _incredible_ feeling in the galaxy. “I’m fine,” he said, smiling as he touched his lips lightly to hers, too exhausted for anything else.

She reached her hand up and brushed through his hair. He lowered his head onto the crook of her neck and closed his eyes, focussing on nothing but the feel of her hands.

“Ben,” Rey breathed.

He craned his neck around and opened his eyes.

Her hands were still on his face. “I love you.”

He was still breathing heavily as he swallowed hard. _Love._ It took him a moment to respond. “I know.”

She looked at him with a strange look. Is that not the correct way to respond? Maybe his father didn’t know what he was talking about.

“It’s how my father won my mother over,” he said. He did always love the story of how they met and fell in love. “But I guess you’re different.”

She smiled and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Like father like son.” Her fingers running through his hair felt soothing, but then she abruptly stopped. “But I’m not like your mother. I have nothing to offer you.”

“That doesn’t matter to me.” None of that mattered. He loved her for her, not what her status was. He realised he thought that but hadn’t said it out loud yet. His fathers signature phrase was not even comparable but maybe he wasn’t quite ready to say it out loud yet.

They stayed like that for who knows how long. Just holding each other, feeling close and intimate in a way they never had before. A moment that may not get to happen again and they wanted to savour it.

Eventually, they decided they’d better leave. Those droids will no doubt be searching for them. They knew they were not supposed to be in here. They hopped out of the X-wing and Rey put the door back into place.

Ben wandered around the other side of the ship and noticed a hand print on the steam covered window. Rey came around and joined him, taking his arm and then looking up at what he was staring at. His hand, obviously, it was too large to be hers.

She just looked at him and began to laugh. He couldn’t help but join in. Suddenly, they heard a ruckus as guards arrived into the hangar. She grabbed his hand and they ran.

They emerged back onto the lower deck and slammed the door shut. It was late, the deck was abandoned. Together they spun around laughing together.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” he said, swaying her arms back and forth. “Doing something I’m not supposed to.”

“I’ve been running my entire life,” she said. “But nothing is quite so thrilling as seeing those wealthy _bastards_ humiliated by our antics.”

He was on such a high. But then suddenly he stops and gets a serious look on his face. He was beginning to have doubts. He wanted to make his parents proud. He wanted to learn to get the force under control. But… he also wanted to be happy.

Rey’s offer stuck out to him like a sore thumb. She was serious. Genuinely serious about running away together. It sounded too good to be true. But yet it was something he knew they could do. Deep down, it was what he wanted. And he had a feeling that darkness would be all there was if he didn’t take this chance.

“When we stop, I’m getting off with you,” he said.

Her smile seemed to light up his galaxy. “This is crazy. I never thought I’d leave Jakku let alone run away with someone I just met.”

“It feels right to me.” He began to brush his fingers lightly over her neck.

“It does to me too.” He picked her up and kissed her passionately. Their future was now set. And it looked promising.

Suddenly, the ship began to shake. They pull apart and hold each other to keep balance.

“Turbulence?” Rey yelled over the sound.

He shook his head. It was something more than that. He ran over to the window and looked out. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a flashing in the sky, near the bottom portion of the Starcruiser. “I think we’re under attack.”

“Attack?” she said through chattering teeth.

“It felt like something was purposely aimed at this ship.” He began leading her up to the upper deck.

“Where are we going?”

He felt scared. He didn’t know what was happening or what to expect. “I’m going to find out what happened.”

“If we were hit, do you think it’s bad? I mean, this cruiser is supposed to be able to withstand all kinds of impacts.”

“Depends on what hit it.” When they arrive at the pilots quarters, there are people gathered around the controls.

When they notice them come through, immediately they’re ushered away.

“You can’t be in here,” a man wearing a pilots uniform engraved with ‘LO-19’ and ‘Captain’ on his chest said.

“We were hit, wren’t we?” Ben said to him.

He held his tongue and then answered the standard reply to passengers. “There is nothing to worry about, sir.”

“No, we were _hit,_ ” he repeated. “Is it bad?”

“We’ve got it under control.”

Just as he were almost shut out, Ben stands up tall. “I am Ben Solo, son of General Leia Organa.”

The Captain lets them go and took a step back, straightening up. “Mr Solo, I’m sorry. This is information your mother should know.”

“I can pass it on to her.”

Rey looked at him in a way she never had before. This was really the first time he’d taken charge and taken full advantage of who he was. In that moment, he had the authority.

The Captain led them over to a holo with a map of the cruiser. There were red lights where the damage was.

“We were hit on the lower section by what appears to be a missile.”

Ben’s eyes glazed over the holo. “By what type of ship?”

“We believe it was a Star Destroyer from the First Order.”

Ben almost felt his heart stop. This flight path wasn’t supposed to take them through firing range. “They can do a lot of damage. Are we in danger of being hit again?”

He pressed a few buttons on the holo and a map of their current surroundings appeared. “There do not seem to be any more around, so we do not believe so. We are getting engineers to take a look at the damage, but I can not confirm nor deny how serious it is.”

He trusted these people, they knew what they were doing. But yet he had an unsettling feeling in his stomach. “The cruiser isn’t going to fall is it?”

“I don’t know,” the Captain said. “This is the first voyage a Starcruiser of this type has been on. There is a chance we might go down.”

Rey’s arm tightened around his. He couldn’t stop himself from shaking. That wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all.

He rushed off back to his quarters, needing to get there as fast as he could. Rey struggled to keep up.

“Ben?” she said worriedly as they walked.

“I know. I’m scared to.”

When they got back, his parents were still wide awake. They looked worried, and his father was not in the least bit pleased to see Rey attached to his arm.

“Mom,” Ben said. “I need to tell you something.”

She could see how terrified he looked. “Ben, it’s just turbulence.”

“No, we were attacked. By a Star Destroyer. They don’t know—”

“Attacked?” his father said, walking over to his son. “We are not flying through enemy territory and this ship can withstand anything.”

“I don’t know if it can—” he began, but his father would hear none of it. He made his way behind them both and pushed them into the room.

“We have a more pressing issue,” his father said.

It’s only then that he noticed the safe was wide open. The drawing in the envelope was still propped up in there. The thought of his parents seeing it made his cheeks redden. But there was something missing from in there.

“Where is the crystal?” his father asked. “I told you not to take it out of the safe.”

“I didn’t… it was _right_ in there.” He was sure he’d put it back in there. He was _sure_ he had.

“When we returned, it was not here.” He walked over to them. “It appears we’ve been robbed.” He turned his attention to Rey.

He took a step in front of her, blocking his father from getting too close. “This is ridiculous, Rey didn’t take it.”

He pushed his son out of the way and faced her. “Then you won’t mind if I search you.”

Rey took off her satchel and handed it over. Ben put a hand out to stop her, not wanting his father to look through her belongings. Her sketchbook was precious to her and he had no permission touch it.

“Rey, you don’t have to.”

She put a comforting hand on his, letting him know it was okay.

His father took the satchel and roughly ruffled through it. He pulled out the charcoal and her sketchbook, and then reached down into the bag again. His eyes locked onto his son as he pulled out the kyber crystal.

Ben’s heart felt as though it stopped. It couldn’t be… she _wouldn’t_ do that. She wouldn’t take it.

His father examined it. “And it’s got a crack in it. It might not even be usable anymore.”

“Ben, I didn’t take it,” Rey said. “Ben, you _know_ I wouldn’t do that.”

“She’s a scavenger, son,” his father pointed out. “She never cared about you, only your possessions.”

Ben didn’t know who to believe. Maybe Rey was too good to be true. Maybe it was all an act. Maybe the only reason she pretended to care about him was to steal from him. His father had a point, she was a scavenger after all.

“Ben,” she begged. “You know I didn’t do it. You _know_ me.”

“I thought I did,” he said uncertainly. “I—”

“Ben.” She was crying now. “I didn’t do it.”

“Han, we can figure this out,” his mother said. “Let the girl go.”

He was determined, almost angry. “She stole from us and needs to be punished.”

Some guards appeared and take Rey away, leaving her satchel behind. They drag her out of the room and Ben does nothing but stand there in shock, her voice being drowned out the further away she got.

He collapsed onto the sofa and couldn’t even make himself cry. She was just using him. She never cared. All those things she said, all those promises to run away and help each other, it was all to get close to him so she could take the crystal.

“Han,” his mother whispered. “This is too far. Let the girl go. Ben cares for her.”

“No, _no!!_ ” he yelled. “He _cannot_ get caught up with his feelings for this girl.”

“I don’t like the way you’re acting.” Her hands were now on her hips as she did when she was mad and disappointed. “I’m sure it’s all a big misunderstanding.”

He took her hands harshly. “ _Shut up!_ We cannot allow him to be distracted by a _girl_.”

Ben cowered down. He felt scared, like a child afraid of the monsters under his bed. He always hated his parents fighting. Most of the time over him. He was afraid of his fathers temper taking things too far, the same way that he did sometimes. Like father, like son. Maybe they were more similar than they thought.

But now it all suddenly clicked into place. She didn’t take the crystal. His father had framed Rey to get her out of the picture. His father _wanted_ him to turn against her.

“I love her,” Ben said, standing up tall. He harshly grabbed his father and shoved him away from his mother. He slammed him against the dresser. “No one understands me the way she does. And no one can take her away from me.”

The ground began to shake as his emotions got the best of him. Force tantrums, it was what he was known for. Photographs and ornaments fell from the dresser and shattered on the floor. The strength of his power increasing as his anger escalated.

“I’m not going to the academy. Rey and I are running away together.” He took a step towards his father and held him in place with the force. There was fear in his eyes. His father, _afraid_ of him. That’s why he wanted to send him away. He was afraid of what he was capable of. “ _Where_ are they taking her?”

He let go of his grip slightly so his father could speak. “Lower deck.” He squeezed tighter, wanting more information than that. “In a storage room.”

He let go of his father and he collapsed down to the floor, desperately trying to catch his breath. He glanced back at his mother, sitting on the floor. Nothing but love in her eyes for her son despite all that he’d done. Despite all that he was.

His anger was still boiling and the floor was still shaking. He _hated_ him for what he was trying to do. For wanting to take away the _one_ good thing he had in his life.

Ben ran and ran, and didn’t look back.


	12. Rey

Rey was brought down below deck to a storage room and handcuffed to a shelf. She was stuck and wasn’t sure how to free herself. They thought she was a thief. _He_ thought she was a thief.

She kept trying to use the force to set her free, but she still had no idea how it worked. She didn’t know to control it. That first time when she saved Ben must have been a fluke. Not to mention with her hands tied it made it impossible to even try. He was supposed to teach her. They were going to help each other.

It wasn’t true. _None_ of it was. She would never steal from him. She’d scavenged junk her entire life, but she never stole. She found things that were broken, that had been abandoned or thrown out, and fixed them. That was what she did. What Ben’s father had accused her of was a lie.

She began to feel a bit lightheaded. The cruiser appeared to tilt and angle downwards. Her stomach dropped. The damage from the missile must have been bad.

Her eyes felt heavy and she was struggling to keep them open. No one was coming to get her. Just like she’d waited all those years on Jakku for her parents to return, she’d _waited_ and _waited_ , but they never came back. And no one was coming for her now. No one cared about her. She felt hopelessly alone.

Just as she’d all but given up hope, she heard a voice and could feel something deep in her soul. Her eyes flew open. It was him. She knew it was.

“Ben!” she yelled with as much strength as she could muster.

“Rey!”

“Ben! I’m here.” That was all she had the strength to say as she felt a wave of faintness wash over.

She could hear footsteps outside the room. He was close. She could _feel_ him.

A few moments later, the door opened and he appeared. He came back for her. He came back.

He hurried over to her, but he was finding it hard to walk and his face looked very pale. A lot paler than usual. “Rey, I’m so sorry.”

Suddenly his lips were desperately on hers. “I didn’t steal it,” she said between kisses. “I would never do that.”

“I know.” He said wrapping his arms around her. “My father wanted me to turn against you. But you’re right, I _do_ know you.”

The direness of the situation became immediate as she came to her senses. “Ben, we’re losing altitude, oxygen is getting low.” She took a big gulp of air. “It’s going to affect you more than me. You’re privileged, your body is used to always having enough oxygen. I know what it’s like to survive with little.”

He nodded, understanding what she was saying, trying to catch his breath.

She looked down at her hands, handcuffed to the shelf. “Ben, I need you to free me.”

“How?”

“Use the _force._ ”

He looked scared and afraid. Doubtful of his abilities. “I don’t know how to control it… it only happens when I get angry.”

“Ben,” she said firmly. “Ben, look at me. You _can_ do it. I believe in you. Have faith in yourself.”

He swallowed and took a few steps back. He focussed on her hands, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Focus on the handcuffs, feel them in your mind,” she said. “Focus on breaking them apart.”

Sweat began to pour from his face and his body was shaking, but she could feel the energy pulsating out of him. The handcuffs shook, making her feel numb, and then they shattered into a million tiny little pieces.

Ben collapsed down on to the ground from the effort. He looked on the verge of fainting. Rey rushed over to him and pulled him up.

“You did it, Ben,” she said, taking his face in her hands. “I _knew_ you could.”

“I did it,” he said, breathless as he pulled her weakly into a hug.

She could feel his breaths getting even more uneven, they needed to get out of here right now. “We have to go, Ben. We need to get to higher ground.”

As they made their way along the abandoned corridor, the cruiser tilted some more and now they were walking up a steep slope. He was struggling but she was determined to not let him fall.

When they arrived at the top of the stairs, the door was closed, the power was flickering on and off and it refused to open. Ben was looking weaker and weaker, but she needed his help. She couldn’t do this alone.

“Ben,” she said, lifting his chin up. “I need you to help me open the door.”

He nodded and stood up straight, putting his hand out. She did the same and together they channelled their combined strength to get the door open. It finally slid open, and as they held it back, they rushed through. They collapsed onto one other as the door slammed shut behind them.

There was no time to waste, Rey pulled him up the last set of stairs where they emerged onto the top deck. It was complete chaos. The passengers were running around and screaming. The boat was tilted on a strange angle. Most of the crowds were rushing toward the right. She knew from the layout of the cruiser where they were headed. The escape pods.

“Come on,” she said, dragging him along, squeezing their way through the condensed crowds.

All the escape pods they crossed were full, and the lines waiting for the next one were long. They pushed their way through to the front, just to get a look at the situation. A voice rang out through the crowd.

“Ben!”

Rey found the source of it. General Leia. Ben’s mother. On an escape pod that was about to take off. She pulled him along to the barricade.

“Mom!” he said, only vaguely conscious now. His eyes were looking very heavy.

She tried to get them closer, but a guard stopped them. “This pod is full.”

“This is _General Organa’s_ son,” she said.

“It’s full,” the guard repeated.

She focussed her attention on the pod that was about to leave and watched as Ben’s father walked out towards them.

“Take my place, son,” he said.

He looked on at his father with wide eyes, clearly feeling touched by this sentiment. But he shook his head.

This was his chance to escape. “Go,” she urged him.

“No,” he said, grabbing her by his shaky hand. “Not without you.”

His father made his way under the barricade. “We’ll get on the next one.”

Ben looked on at her uncertainly. “Go,” she repeated.

He hesitated but then released his grip. Only the first class passengers get priority, she knew that. And he probably did too, but he wanted to believe his father’s promise. “You’ll get on the next one?”

“Yes,” she said, giving him a quick kiss before he was whipped onto the escape pod.

His mother embraced him in a hug as the door slid closed. Rey glanced over at his father, at _Han Solo_ , who she’d idolised from afar for many years. But seeing him now, she realised he was just an ordinary person. A pilot. A husband. A father. His face was stoic and sad. He knew this was goodbye.

“There aren’t any other escape pods, are there?” she said.

He looked on at her sadly. “No. This is the last one. ”

She bit her lip to stop from crying, her mouth filling with a metallic taste as she drew blood. “He’ll live.”

He gave her a knowing nod. They both loved him, and he was going to live. They watched the escape pod slowly begin to take off. Ben was staring at her through the window, he wouldn’t take his eyes off of her. This was goodbye. This was the end of their time together. He didn’t know for sure that it was, but there was something in his eyes. Fear, hatred, loss. Maybe he could feel it in his bones too.

He gave his mother a kiss on the cheek and all of a sudden his face contorts in concentration and with a roar, the door slides open and he leaps off with extraordinary strength back to the dock.

“Ben!!!” she yelled.

The crowds were going crazy, it was madness, but she pushed her way through to get to him. She had to get him. She _had_ to. How could he be so _stupid?_ How could he do that? He was going to live. He was going to survive.

But she knew why he did it. She would have done the same.


	13. Ben

His heart was pumping fast as he turned back to the escape pod he’d just jumped off. His mother was staring at him wide eyed, but lovingly. She understood why he did it. The crowds surrounding him were going crazy. People were afraid. He stood up and tried to push his way back to her.

She found him first and crashed into him, embracing him in a hug.

“Why did you _do_ that?” she asked desperately, kissing him in between breaths. “You’re so _stupid_ Ben. You’re so _stupid._ ”

He couldn’t get his arms around her enough. They weren’t big enough to hold her as close as he wanted. “I couldn’t leave without you.”

She was crying now as she buried her head into his shoulder.

“Hey, Rey, it’s okay,” he said, brushing his hand through her hair. “We’ll go find my dad and get on the next pod.”

She pulled away. Her eyes were bloodshot. “There aren’t any more.”

His stomach dropped, but somehow deep down he already knew the truth even though he didn’t want to believe it. “What? My dad said—”

“He wanted you to _live._ ” She took his hand firmly. “So did I. You were going to live. Why did you do that?”

“I told you, I couldn’t go without you.”

“You can live without me.”

“But I didn’t want to.” That was the honest truth. Living without her wasn’t an option anymore.

In these short few days since she’d met her, the whole galaxy had opened up. He never knew what it was like to feel alive, _really_ alive. To have someone who understood him. Who cared about what happened to him. Who loved him.

“What are we gonna do, Ben?”

He had no idea. With no more escape pods, they were trapped on this cruiser. He didn’t know, but he was determined to figure out a way. “I need to find my dad.”

He dragged her along. He was terrified, there was no doubt in his mind that there was a good chance they wouldn’t make it out of here. The crowds were even denser now, wandering in every which way not knowing what to do. The cruiser tilted some more and Ben grabbed onto a wall for support.

“Dad!” he yelled. He lifted his head up high and frantically searched for him, but he couldn’t see him anywhere.

It began to get harder to breathe. His lungs were struggling to fill up with oxygen.

Rey seemed stronger than he felt and helped him along. “We need to find the oxygen masks.”

He looked around and found people had hooked themselves up to masks. They must have them stored somewhere. But his vision was beginning to go blurry.

“Hey,” she said as they walked along. “We’re not going to die. I haven’t met a Wookiee yet. You’re going to introduce me to Chewie one day, right?”

That gave him strength. A reason to keep on fighting even though his body wanted so badly to shut down. “Of course.”

“Here,” she said, leaning him against some steps.

There were two more oxygen masks hooked onto the wall. The last two. She handed one to him and held onto the other. The cruiser began to tilt even more and they needed to find something to grab onto.

She dragged him along some more and instructed him to hold onto the railing that was now in front of him. He looked around his surroundings and realised where they were. This was the back of the top deck, the place where they first met. They held on tight to the railing, and each other, as the cruiser continued to tilt down even more.

Suddenly, there was a loud cracking sound as the cruiser split in half. The latter half begins to fall, partially dragging the top half down with it. Passengers were falling left right and centre. Ben and Rey used their combined force powers to save as many as they could from falling to certain death.

“Ben!!”

His father. He was down there, he could just make him out. He was holding onto a very unstable pole, just out of reach.

Ben began to let go of the railing, wanting to go down and pull him up. Rey shook her head. It was too dangerous.

He put his right hand out and Rey held firmly onto his other, her other arm holding onto the railing and oxygen mask tightly. Ben used all his strength to pull his father up to them using the force. He exerted a lot of energy, but it was worth it. His father was now up here with them. The three of them were holding onto the railing.

He embraced his father into a hug. Despite their differences, he loved him. He was glad he was his father, even though he could never truly understand everything he was going through.

“Son.”

There was a jolt as the ship was dragged jaggedly down some more. Ben felt himself drop slightly. The railing was beginning to come loose. The weight of the three of them was too much.

He handed his oxygen mask to Ben. “Take this.”

He wouldn’t have any of it. “No, you need it.”

“Son,” his father said sternly. “I need to let go.”

“No.” Tears were falling down his cheeks now. “No dad, I’m _not_ letting you go.”

“I love you, Ben,” he said, placing his hand on his son’s left cheek. “I always have. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

The railing came loose some more, it wouldn’t hold much longer. His father glanced over and gave Rey an approving nod, and then he let go.

“Dad!!!” Ben yelled. His heart felt like it had stopped beating. _This can’t be real. This can’t be._

He sacrificed himself so that he could live. His father, gone. Down into the darkness. He couldn’t save him. He never even apologised for all that he’d done.

Rey held onto him as tightly as she could, both of them mourning his father.

“Ben, Ben,” she said. “It’ll be alright. We’ll be alright.”

His sobbing was uncontrollable. But knowing that no one was safe, knowing that nothing was certain, he kissed her. What might be their last kiss. Everything looked hopeless now.

She began to put the oxygen mask over his head but he pulled away. “You first.”

“You need it more.” She helped him get it on and when oxygen filled his lungs again, he felt whole. He could breathe. And think. And knew _couldn’t_ give up. Not after what his father had done for him.

He helped her get hers on and they both tried to catch their breath. Rey was holding on tightly to his fathers spare oxygen mask. He gave them life. He gave them the chance to live.

There is nothing to do but watch as people, creatures and droids all fall to their deaths. They try as they might to save as many as they can, but it was all happening too fast and the altitude kept dropping lower.

They watch as the escape pods fly off in the distance. At least there will be some survivors. They hold onto each other, thinking this may be it. This may be their their final moments. A few other passengers are hanging on below too, but most of them have floated out into space.

This is where they first met. Where he was considering ending his life but she stopped him. Now they were both going to die in the exact same place. But at least they’d be together.

“Ben,” she yelled over the loud sound of the cruiser tearing apart. “We need to let go. Trust me.”

“I trust you.”

The cruiser was now completely broken apart in two. The impact made the top half of the cruiser begin to fall even faster. Together, they let go of the railing and float out into space.


	14. Rey

Rey had always wondered what it felt like to be weightless. This isn’t what she expected. Debris was flying around, and she couldn’t get a grip on her surroundings, she kept turning in ways she didn’t want to. She was completely disoriented and didn’t know which way was up. But at least they had the oxygen masks on so they could breathe.

“Ben!” she screamed, looking around frantically.

She still had the spare oxygen mask in her hand, the one that his father had given them before he let go of the railing. She held onto it tightly. They would need it. No, _he_ would need it. After finally getting herself upright, she spotted him the distance. It didn’t appear to look like he was moving. Her heart started beating fast as she somehow managed to use the force to pull herself over to him. He was awake. That was a good sign.

“Rey,” he breathed when she came into view.

They embraced. They were both alive. For now at least. She thought this might be it. They’d both die, but at least they’d be together. Rey tried to think of what they could do. Floating in space wasn’t going to get them anywhere. A piece of debris flying through air caught her attention and gave her an idea.

She checked his oxygen level. It was going down fast. A lot faster than hers. Keeping afloat would be using more. She needed to get him to stop exerting so much energy and calm down.

“Ben, see that piece of metal over there?” She pointed her arm in that direction. “We need to get over there. We need to use our combined strength.”

Together, they made their way over to the piece of debris. A sturdy metal door. Rey helped him up first, but he resisted. She showed him the oxygen levels on both their tanks. “Your oxygen is fading fast, I’ve still got plenty. You need to calm your breathing down.”

He allowed her to help him up onto the door and she could sense him getting calmer. He lied stomach down and reached his arms over the edge. He began to help her up, along with the spare mask in her hand, but the door began to fall. It was too much weight.

Rey passed the spare oxygen mask up and rested it next to him. She put her arms up over the edge of the door, trying not to put too much weight on it.

“Rey,” he said. “Take my place.”

She shook her head. “I’m fine. Really, I’m fine.”

Ben’s face was right in front of hers, their masks touching. She had a feeling deep down inside. Not of sadness, or loneliness, but one of content. One of a life well spent.

“Ben,” she said. It was beginning to get harder to talk but she needed him to hear this. “When I left Jakku, I didn’t know what I was doing or where I was going. Something drew me to this Starcruiser and I didn’t understand what. I didn’t know why. Now I do.” She stopped to catch her breath. “It was to meet _you_.”

She watched as a single tear fell down his cheek. She wiped it away.

“I never knew what I was missing all those years I was waiting. Meeting you was the _best_ thing that ever happened to me. I never knew what it was like to feel like I belonged. To feel understood.” She paused. “To be in love.”

“Rey—“ he began, but couldn't go on. The tears were coming too fast and his breaths were uneven.

She put a cold hand on his cheek and ran her thumb back and forth, trying to get him to calm down. “Listen, Ben. You’re going to live a long and happy life. You’re going to find your purpose. You’re going to be a great father.” She smiled at the thought. “And an even better grandfather.”

“You’ll be by my side the whole time,” he said, slightly confused by her wording. He was in denial, he didn’t want to admit what he knew to be true. “We’re going to a live a long life together.”

“Of course I’ll be with you. _Always._ ” She placed her hand on his heart. “You’re going to be happy and you’re not going to die for a long time. You'll know when it’s time. You’ll know.”

She was crying now too. It was almost as if she could see his future, as clear as she could see him now. It all flashed before her and it was something of a dream. Something of a memory that was yet to happen.

“Don’t give up, no matter what happens.” She took his hand, just as she did when they first met. When he was planning to do the unthinkable and throw everything away. She wasn’t going to allow him to do that again. Not ever. "Ben, you can’t let the darkness win. _Promise_ me you won’t.”

“I promise,” he said.

“Don’t let it win,” she whispered.

She took a deep breath and took her mask off. She could survive for a few seconds.

“Rey, what are you doing?” he asked worriedly.

“Trust me.”

She took his mask off and then kissed him as though her life depended on it. Like it was their last chance to be together. It was short and sweet, but it was as perfect as their first time.

She shuffled to get his mask back on, and he helped get hers back on. Those brief few moments without oxygen took a toll on both of them. Her vision was beginning to go spotty and she knew what that meant.

“Rey,” he said, in that voice that she’ll hold with her always. “I love you.”

A small smile appeared on her face. All of it. _All_ of it was worth it. “I know.”

Her vision faded. Everything went black but it all felt right. This was the end of their story. But not the end of his.


	15. Ben

Ben’s eyes flew open. His surroundings came into view and he was reminded of where he was. She was motionless, but still holding onto the piece of debris he was lying on. He could breathe. He could actually breathe quite well.

“Rey?” he said.

He touched her hands and they were ice cold. She didn’t respond. His veins filled with worry as he touched her face. Her eyes didn’t flutter open as they always do.

“Rey,” he sobbed. “No. Rey, please wake up. I can’t do this without you. _Please_.”

The spare mask. He needed to hook her up to the spare mask that his father gave them. But he couldn’t find it anywhere. He checked her tank - empty. And then he checked his, which was still half full. She said he was going through his oxygen faster than she was. That means she must have hooked him up to the spare one. _Oh Rey._

He could switch her over to it. He could still save her. He hoped. But then he touched her face, and her lips were blue. He checked her pulse, but there was none. She was gone. He took her mask off and ran his hand over her face. Her beautiful, lifeless face. She still looked as elegant as ever. She looked at peace.

He began to sob and couldn’t make himself stop. She change his life in more ways than he could even comprehend. She changed everything. She gave him a reason to _live_.

But he’d promised. He’d promised her that he wouldn’t let the darkness win. As much as he wished to die too, so they could be together, he’d made her a promise. And he needed to keep it.

Though his oxygen mask he kissed each of her knuckles before he unclipped her fingers from the door. He watched her body float off into space until it was nothing but a speck in the distance, shining almost as bright as the stars.

He felt incredibly weak, he could feel the darkness trying to pull him under but he was going to _fight_ it. There was a desperation to want to join her in wherever she was now, but he wanted to make her proud. He wasn’t going to let her death be in vain. Someone needed to remember her.

He gathered as little strength as he had left and flung himself closer to some other debris. He looked out to see if there was any kind of movement out there. Way out far in the distance he could see what appeared to be a flashing light.

He focussed on a piece of scrap metal floating a few feet away from him and lifted it up high. He channelled his anger, sadness and pain into it, doing exactly what he did to free her from the handcuffs. It worked. A flash of light emitted as it exploded into a million shards with a faint _bang_.

He collapsed down onto the piece of door and could barely hold himself up. He checked the tank again. Almost empty. Channelling the force used a lot of oxygen. He lay there, trying to take small breaths so he didn’t pass out.

_It wasn’t enough_ , he thought to himself. No one saw it. No one was coming. Maybe this was the end. She said he’d know when it was time. And a part of him thought, and _hoped,_ it was now.

A few moments later he could hear a roaring engine as a small ship came closer. He squinted his eyes in the bright blinding light, and tried to get a good look at it. He pushed himself up as he was dragged over. The door opened and arms gathered him up and pull him aboard.

They pulled the mask off and placed another mask onto his face. He heaved in deep heaving breaths and his lungs filled with air. Voices came from left, right and centre, all blurring together as one.

“He’s alive, but might be suffering oxygen deprivation.”

“Keep an eye on him.”

“He’s lucky we found him when we did.”

“Any other survivors?”

“He seemed to be alone.”

He tuned it all out as he craned his neck towards the window. His eyes were drawn to a speck in the distance, a ray of light illuminated over it. He could barely make it out but deep down he knew it was her.

“Rey,” he called out inaudibly as he passed out of exhaustion.


	16. Ben

He awoke in the bright white room with a shock. Where _was_ he? How did he get here? All these confusing thoughts crossed his mind. As he sat up, his head began to throb. He pulled the oxygen mask off and looked around. He was in a sterile white medical bay.

The door opened and a nurse walked in. She rushed over to keep him stable.

“Whoa, careful,” she said. “You’ve suffered from oxygen deprivation and need to take it easy.”

He pressed his palm onto his head, trying to stop it from pounding. “I feel alright.”

She didn’t look certain. “If you are feeling well enough, you can go out to the other survivors.”

“Other survivors.” He was pleased to hear that others survived. “How many made it?”

“Around four hundred,” she said.

_Less than a quarter_. He was one of the lucky ones. He carefully made his way out to the other survivors. People, creatures, droids, a whole mix of different passengers who made it. Everyone gathered around as they tried to recover. He found a spare place to sit alone and began to cry. He thought back on everything that had happened. _Rey._ He missed her.

Something rammed into his leg. He winced in pain, but the pain felt familiar. He looked down and saw it was a small droid. He smiled as he recognised him as BB-8. “You made it.” He placed a hand on his head. “I’m sorry.”

He was surprised he’d made it. The droid made a few beeps, which he didn’t understand, and then nuzzled into his leg. She meant a lot to the both of them.

“Ben.”

He turned to see his mother standing there, and his eyes welled up with tears. “Mom.”

His eyes were completely bloodshot and his cheeks were stained with tears. She embraced her son into a hug and he leant into his mothers shoulder. It was comforting. She could always make him feel better.

When they pulled apart, she gave him a look which he knew was a question. He gave a small shake of his head. She knew what it meant. But she already knew. She could sense it, as he could too. They didn’t make it.

“I’m sorry, mom,” he started. “I’m sorry for everything. For all the tantrums and all the things I destroyed. For not being able to control my emotions. I’m sorry for running off with her, and I’m sorry that dad—”

She ran a hand over his face. “Shhh, it’s okay. I love you, Ben.” She forgave him, as she always did. She loved him unconditionally no matter how many mistakes he made.

He began to shake, shivering from the cold and from the pain of all they’d loss. His mother put his fathers jacket around his shoulders and sat down next to him.

“You still don’t want to go to the academy,” she said, wiping his tears away.

He felt a pang of guilt. “No, no, I should go. For dad.”

“All he wanted was for you to be happy.”

He looked up at her with sympathetic eyes. That was what he said too. All they’d _ever_ wanted was for him to be happy.

“Go where you were planning to go with her. Go live the life you want to live.” She gave him a knowing look. “You loved her, didn’t you?”

The memory of her made his eyes water again. “Yes.”

She took his face in her hands. “Go make her proud. Go make your father and I proud. I _believe_ in you.”

His mother loved him. So much so that she was letting him go. To live the life he chooses, not the one that was expected of him.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, Ben,” she said. “I always have. _We_ always have.”

It was time to let him go. That’s what his mother was giving him. To live his own life of his own choosing, one with no expectations, something she knew he always struggled with. This farewell was something that only his mother could give him. The freedom to let him pave his own future. This was goodbye. But his mother would always be in his heart no matter where they were in the galaxy.

Ben sat there for a while in silence. A guard was walking around, recording the names of the survivors.

“Name?” the guard said, a notebook in his hand.

“Ben,” he replied, not looking up.

“Surname?” He simply shook his head. “Where are you from?”

“Jakku,” he replied without a second thought.

He glanced up at the notepad to see ‘Ben of Jakku’ written in messy handwriting. No legacy connected to his name anymore. No expectations. No family connections. Now he was free to be whoever he wanted.

He felt something in the pocket of his fathers jacket and pulled it out. The _kyber crystal_. He thought it was lost. During that fight when he’d run off to rescue her, he’d left everything behind. Her sketchbook, the drawing she did of him, it was all now in the pile of wreckage of what used to be the cruiser.

But miraculously, he had the crystal. He ran his fingers over the scar and remembered back to what she did. How incredibly she had _healed_ it. At least he’d now always have something to remember her by.


	17. Ben

It has been a long time since he’d thought about his time on the _LO-19 Starcruiser_. It was always there in the back of his mind of course, but he’d never shared the story with anyone before. Not even his wife, or his children, or his grandchildren. No one knew that he was even on that cruiser.

That was until everything came flooding back when explorers went out in search of the wreckage. _Seventy four_ years later, they finally found it. And the safe from his quarters was recovered and all the artefacts inside were still intact. They’d used advanced DNA testing to track him down and that’s how it all came to be. That’s how he was now on a ship above where the wreckage of the tragic Starcruiser had landed.

Ben looks at the drawing and runs his hands over the precise strokes, careful not to smudge it. The likeness still amazed him. Of course, he no longer looked like that. He was old and frail now, and in ill health. It was almost his time. But not yet. Not quite. As she had said, he’d know when it was.

“Grandfather,” his grandson, Raymond, wakes him from his memories. “Why did you never tell anyone about this?”

What he shared with Rey was between the two of them. Something that was so dear and personal that it felt like a betrayal to even tell anyone else.

But now it felt like he could talk about it, pass on the memories to someone else before he was gone. He told them the story of the cruiser, of who his parents were and where he was being taken. Falling in love with Rey and planing to run away together. The tragedy surrounding her death.

They never knew. No one knew his lineage. It wasn’t relevant, he’d paved his own life. His own story.

“It was my secret,” he says eventually. He didn’t need to say anything more than that.

“Ben, do you have any idea where this kyber crystal could be?” the explorer, the older one whose name he couldn’t remember, asks. “You know they’re incredibly rare these days.”

“This was the last time I saw it,” Ben says. “I assume it’s still down in the wreckage somewhere. Unless someone stole it in the chaos when the cruiser was shot down.”

“Are you _absolutely_ sure?” the explorer presses, obviously not content with his answer.

He takes the drawing back and holds it tight. “This day was the last time I saw it.”

They stop trying to get more answers out of him and don’t push it any further. Raymond helps him get settled into his quarters for the night. He looks around at all the photographs of his family, of his life. He always liked to bring them with him wherever he went, to remind him that he’d kept that promise.

He had lived a long and full life. He had found happiness. He had found love. He had found his purpose. And he _didn’t_ let the darkness win, as hard as it may have been sometimes.

“Grandfather?” his grandson said.

He breaks his gaze from the photographs and turns to him, almost stumbling over. Raymond catches him.

“I know it was your secret, but wasn’t it hard to not share it with anyone?”

He takes a deep breath. “At times, yes. Surely you know what it’s like, wanting something that is yours and yours alone. Rey saved me in more ways than I can even count. If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn’t be alive. _You_ wouldn’t exist.”

His grandson smiles. It almost stopped his heart when his daughter named her first born son _Raymond_. That name was _eerily_ similar to Rey’s. And in some ways, he even reminded him of her.

“Well, I’m glad you now have something of hers to keep.” He gestures to the drawing before embracing him into a hug.

When they pull apart, he looks at his grandson one last time. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

“Of course,” he says, before leaving the room.

The door shuts and Ben is now alone. _Now is the time._ She said he’d know when it was time. When it was right.

He uses the bed for support to get down on his knees. He reaches under and pulls something out. A lightsaber. He shakily pulls himself up on his creaky legs and grabs the oxygen mask from the wall. It looks similar to one the Starcruiser, and brings memories flashing back. These things are obviously more advanced now - if only they’d had these ones back then she may have made it.

He opens the door and checks the coast is clear before he walks along to the balcony. The cold air makes him shiver. Or maybe it was another force that sent chills down his spine.

He looks over the edge. A long way down, much longer than the drop from the upper deck to the lower deck on the cruiser. Here, he would certainly fall to his death. The wreckage crashed way below. Her body among it, now probably decomposed. But down there was her last resting place.

“Rey,” he says, holding the lightsaber firmly in his frail hands. He ignites it and a white blade protrudes. Every time, it always reminds him of her. “You’re not alone.”

He throws the lightsaber over the railing with as much strength as he can in his weak state. He watches until he can no longer see it, the white blade fading into the darkness.

He heads back to his quarters and runs his hand along all of the photographs of his life. A good life it was. A meaningful one.

He gets into bed and pulls the covers over him. He glances over at the photograph of him with baby Raymond after he was only just born, and then his eyes close. He falls asleep for what he knows will be the last time.


	18. Epilogue

The light is blinding as he opens his eyes. A force is pulling him forwards. Not a darkness like he’d felt his whole life. This was something else. It was a light force. Now is right. He knew it was.

He feels young and healthy, as though anything is possible. He walks through the halls of the Starcruiser and it’s exactly as he remembers them. The bright artificial lights and metal floors that his feet clang along with each step.

He arrives at the double doors and a person in uniform opens them for him. The great hall opens up in front of him. There are crowds gathered in there, passengers he recognises from the cruiser. The fallen who didn’t make it. All of them are together again.

And then he sees her. Waiting at the top of the steps wearing white with her hair down, the way he always loved it best. His heart starts to beat fast as she turns around.

She smiles in a way that always lit up the entire galaxy, and she holds out her hand as she did all those years earlier. That simple gesture is what saved him. Time seems to slow down as he reaches out and takes her hand.

She knew they’d be together again someday. She’d told him as much.

But first he had to live. Which he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed this fic :)


End file.
